I have a feeling this will be a shorter post, but we shall see.
First off, I have minimal work to do between now and when I leave school on May 15
and I am SO bored. I need a new close friend who is also an over-achiever and non-
procrastinator. Granted, I did have the opportunity to go to a clique picnic today,
but I declined because I do not feel like I've been fully-inducted into that clique.
However, there is another clique-picnic on Friday that I will be attending and a
clique-dinner on Monday evening that I will also be attending. Similarly, there are
things that I could do to keep myself occupied: piano, recording, making jewelry,
drawing, sitting outside, going for a drive, etc, etc. However, I'm craving something
more social and, because I know of no one who is available, I am writing.
Accountability & Communication
In a recent and ongoing dialogue with the President of my college, two of the trends
that continue arising throughout our emails are those of accountability and communication.
As a student, prior to emailing the President, I felt very much in the dark about
administrative decisions, actions, and motivations. I do not know what the status
quo is at other institutions of higher education, but the fact that there is a
disconnect between the powers that be and us students who are affected by those
decisions bothers me very, very much. Because of this disconnect, students like
myself do not concretely know the motivations and desired consequences from the
actions and decisions of the administration and rumors thus are created and spread
violently across campus. In short, it's very important to be that administration
decisions and actions are shared with the student body and, more importantly, the
motivations behind these decisions and actions are likewise dispelled.
Similarly, there is a feeling of a lack of accountability among staff of the college.
From not completing the task of laying some carpet to not noticing and refilling the
silverware, dishes, food, etc; I get the impression that there is a lack of pride
in one's job and job description & duties.
Hypocriticism
I'm not going to write much about this, but I just wanted to say how deeply it upsets
and bothers me when a person judges or reprimands or looks down upon another person
because of a certain behavior, even though an extremely similar behavior is being done
by the former person. Does that one, tiny little detail of a difference really make
one action acceptable and the other not? No.
Also, I'm sorry if I'm ever hypocritical in any way. I wouldn't be surprised and I
apologize.
In other news, I gave two leaving faculty members thank you/well-wish cards today
and, while they were both touched and appreciative, it was quite sad, particularly
when I told one of them that a third favorite faculty member was also leaving. :(
In regards to this, a lot of reactions to the announcement of a leaving faculty
member were something along the lines of, oh I understand because a bigger opportunity
will be better or you can't expect someone to stay somewhere so small, etc, etc.
Wait, WHAT? You picked a small school, commit to it. You picked a small school, love it.
I simply cannot fathom a faculty member having "settled" on working here because it
feels so insincere to commit to an educational setting all the while knowing that you
see it only as a stepping stone. A greater commitment and truer passion is required
for effective teaching, so I refuse to believe that any of these responses are true.
_
Monday, May 2, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
HOBY 2011 Mixtape
Like I have the past two years, I made a mixtape for my HOBY kids.
Below is the track list and my explanation of each song, as well as
an addendum of a few songs that didn't fit/I forgot about.
Enjoy! (Also, for the last post? Song I could fall asleep to?
White Noise by Mogwai, which is the closing track on this mix)
_____01 – A Million Tomorrows – Pretty Lights
To start this mix, I present to you an instrumental piece by electronic artist, Pretty Lights. Upbeat electronic music is what I use when I need to be productive and write papers or read. Pretty Lights has also done neat covers of some classic rock songs by Pink Floyd, Eric Clapton, and others.
_____02 – Completed Nihilism – Mouse on the Keys
Mouse on the Keys is a jazz/rock-fusion band from Japan that consists of two members on keyboards/piano and one member on drums. This track is simple, but is a necessary lead-in to the next track.
_____03 – Spectres de Mouse – Mouse on the Keys
This song was the first Mouse on the Keys song I heard when I was shown the music video for it, which is amazing. If you haven’t noticed already, you’ll notice by the end of this mix that I’m very biased toward music with lots of piano.
_____04 – Creepin’ Crazy Time – Big Blood
Big Blood is my most recent new favorite band. Throughout this mix, it is also evident that I’ve been on a big folk kick. A lot of Big Blood’s songs are weird, but they are so good. They also did covers of Erik Satie’s Trois Gnossiennes, which are some of my favorite classical pieces.
_____05 – Buried in the Water – Dead Man’s Bones
Dead Man’s Bones is another folk-y band, but is less upbeat in most of their songs. This song is no exception, but I think it’s waltz tempo and better-than-Cash Cash-esque vocals are beautiful.
_____06 – All Delighted People – Sufjan Stevens
Sufjan Stevens is another folk artist with a beautiful and unique voice and musical genius mind. This isn’t my favorite song by him, but it’s a powerful one that gives me chills.
_____07 – Rabbit Will Run – Iron & Wine
Iron & Wine is another folk artist (frontman, Sammy) who I saw in Baltimore on April 20th and this is one of my favorite songs, the others being Me & Lazarus and Big Burned Hand and Your Fake Name is Good Enough for Me. It was a great concert, opened by The Low Anthem. Essentially any indie-folk band with a bass clarinet and/or baritone saxophone will be able to make it into my heart.
_____08 – Mexican Standoff – Elbow
Before I started my folk kick, my favorite band at the time was Elbow. Their song, One Day Like This, came up on my Arcade Fire Pandora station and I loved it. That song and another, Grace Under Pressure, are my favorites, but Mexican Standoff is a close third.
_____09 – Lotus Flower – Radiohead
Lotus Flower is from Radiohead’s most recent album and, although I tend to prefer their older stuff, the music video for this is great, with frontman Thom Yorke dancing alone. It’s simple, but it’s catchy and beautiful.
_____10 – Butterflies & Hurricanes – Muse
I used to really, really like Muse, but now I have to be in the right mood, otherwise they are obnoxious. Frontman Matthew Bellamy has a powerful voice and this song has an amazing piano interlude.
_____11 – In the Land of Magnolias – Vitas
Vitas is a Russian pop singer with an incredible male falsetto range. His music can be really weird, but it’s perfect when I want something different.
_____12 – Shiller – Ratatat
My obsession with Ratatat occurred at the same time as my obsession with Elbow (and Pheonix and Matt & Kim and Miike Snow and Passion Pit) and they are what I listen to when I have heavy reading I need to get through. Shiller is tied with Lex and Wildcat as my favorite.
_____13 – Rothko Fields – S. Carey
S. Carey is my current obsession. Sean Carey is the drummer/pianist for musician, Bon Iver (bone ee-vair), and this is his minimalist folk project. I saw S. Carey on April 1 and it was incredible. I consider it to be one of the most moving shows I’ve seen, second only to the 2nd time I saw mewithoutyou, followed by when I saw Phish.
_____14 – We Fell – S. Carey
Although S. Carey’s Rothko Fields is absolutely my favorite, I couldn’t put just one of his songs on this mix.
_____15 – White Noise – Mogwai
I chose to close this mix with White Noise by Mogwai because it is a great cool down electronic piece that makes great background music or a great closer to what I hope you think is an awesome mix.
Before I discovered Elbow and the mix of artists that came along with them, I was really into two bands, but could not fit any more music on this mix. So I advise you to check out Two Door Cinema Club (my favorite song is Do You Want it All?) and The Bravery (the first song I heard was An Honest Mistake and my favorite songs are Believe, This is Not the End, and Tragedy Bound [explicit]). Lastly, if you like dubstep (or if you have no idea if you like dubstep), my two favorites are 1975 by Zeds Dead and Cracks Begin to Show (Flux Pavilion Mix) by Freestylers.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Below is the track list and my explanation of each song, as well as
an addendum of a few songs that didn't fit/I forgot about.
Enjoy! (Also, for the last post? Song I could fall asleep to?
White Noise by Mogwai, which is the closing track on this mix)
_____01 – A Million Tomorrows – Pretty Lights
To start this mix, I present to you an instrumental piece by electronic artist, Pretty Lights. Upbeat electronic music is what I use when I need to be productive and write papers or read. Pretty Lights has also done neat covers of some classic rock songs by Pink Floyd, Eric Clapton, and others.
_____02 – Completed Nihilism – Mouse on the Keys
Mouse on the Keys is a jazz/rock-fusion band from Japan that consists of two members on keyboards/piano and one member on drums. This track is simple, but is a necessary lead-in to the next track.
_____03 – Spectres de Mouse – Mouse on the Keys
This song was the first Mouse on the Keys song I heard when I was shown the music video for it, which is amazing. If you haven’t noticed already, you’ll notice by the end of this mix that I’m very biased toward music with lots of piano.
_____04 – Creepin’ Crazy Time – Big Blood
Big Blood is my most recent new favorite band. Throughout this mix, it is also evident that I’ve been on a big folk kick. A lot of Big Blood’s songs are weird, but they are so good. They also did covers of Erik Satie’s Trois Gnossiennes, which are some of my favorite classical pieces.
_____05 – Buried in the Water – Dead Man’s Bones
Dead Man’s Bones is another folk-y band, but is less upbeat in most of their songs. This song is no exception, but I think it’s waltz tempo and better-than-Cash Cash-esque vocals are beautiful.
_____06 – All Delighted People – Sufjan Stevens
Sufjan Stevens is another folk artist with a beautiful and unique voice and musical genius mind. This isn’t my favorite song by him, but it’s a powerful one that gives me chills.
_____07 – Rabbit Will Run – Iron & Wine
Iron & Wine is another folk artist (frontman, Sammy) who I saw in Baltimore on April 20th and this is one of my favorite songs, the others being Me & Lazarus and Big Burned Hand and Your Fake Name is Good Enough for Me. It was a great concert, opened by The Low Anthem. Essentially any indie-folk band with a bass clarinet and/or baritone saxophone will be able to make it into my heart.
_____08 – Mexican Standoff – Elbow
Before I started my folk kick, my favorite band at the time was Elbow. Their song, One Day Like This, came up on my Arcade Fire Pandora station and I loved it. That song and another, Grace Under Pressure, are my favorites, but Mexican Standoff is a close third.
_____09 – Lotus Flower – Radiohead
Lotus Flower is from Radiohead’s most recent album and, although I tend to prefer their older stuff, the music video for this is great, with frontman Thom Yorke dancing alone. It’s simple, but it’s catchy and beautiful.
_____10 – Butterflies & Hurricanes – Muse
I used to really, really like Muse, but now I have to be in the right mood, otherwise they are obnoxious. Frontman Matthew Bellamy has a powerful voice and this song has an amazing piano interlude.
_____11 – In the Land of Magnolias – Vitas
Vitas is a Russian pop singer with an incredible male falsetto range. His music can be really weird, but it’s perfect when I want something different.
_____12 – Shiller – Ratatat
My obsession with Ratatat occurred at the same time as my obsession with Elbow (and Pheonix and Matt & Kim and Miike Snow and Passion Pit) and they are what I listen to when I have heavy reading I need to get through. Shiller is tied with Lex and Wildcat as my favorite.
_____13 – Rothko Fields – S. Carey
S. Carey is my current obsession. Sean Carey is the drummer/pianist for musician, Bon Iver (bone ee-vair), and this is his minimalist folk project. I saw S. Carey on April 1 and it was incredible. I consider it to be one of the most moving shows I’ve seen, second only to the 2nd time I saw mewithoutyou, followed by when I saw Phish.
_____14 – We Fell – S. Carey
Although S. Carey’s Rothko Fields is absolutely my favorite, I couldn’t put just one of his songs on this mix.
_____15 – White Noise – Mogwai
I chose to close this mix with White Noise by Mogwai because it is a great cool down electronic piece that makes great background music or a great closer to what I hope you think is an awesome mix.
Before I discovered Elbow and the mix of artists that came along with them, I was really into two bands, but could not fit any more music on this mix. So I advise you to check out Two Door Cinema Club (my favorite song is Do You Want it All?) and The Bravery (the first song I heard was An Honest Mistake and my favorite songs are Believe, This is Not the End, and Tragedy Bound [explicit]). Lastly, if you like dubstep (or if you have no idea if you like dubstep), my two favorites are 1975 by Zeds Dead and Cracks Begin to Show (Flux Pavilion Mix) by Freestylers.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
30 Songs
01 - your favorite song
It's impossible to choose. Right now, anything by S. Carey and Big Blood and
iron & Wine and Dead Man's Bones and Zeds Dead. But let's go with Rothko Fields
by S. Carey.
02 - your least favorite song
Easy. Photograph by Nickelback. And anything by Nickelback.
03 - a song that makes you happy
Sing, Sing, Sing by Benny Goodman. Jazz Band was finishing up this song when I
arrived to rehearsal yesterday and all I wished was that I knew how to Charleston
so that I could dance into the band room. This song makes you want to move.
04 - a song that makes you sad
That one worship song that includes the line, "Like a rose trampled on the ground."
It's entirely unnecessary for a popular worship song to be so emo.
05 - a song that reminds you of someone
Most of the later tracks of Joy Electric's Hello Mannequin album and most every
song by Death Cab for Cutie. But I'm trying to forget both of those associations
so that I can enjoy the music independently once again. But to pick one song, I
would say the song about bees by Steve Vai just because I dislike it so much.
06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
Somewhere? Huh. I guess any song by any band or artist I've ever seen perform. To
pick one awesome one, I would have to say You Enjoy Myself by Phish. They did the
coolest vocal jam EVER.
07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
These are all the same question, only slightly different. I don't have an answer
to this one right now...
08 - a song that you know all the words to
So many. But Rob Dougan's Left Me for Dead and mewithoutyou's Gentlemen are two
I'll never ever unlearn.
09 - a song that you can dance to
Every single crappy pop hip hop song on the radio with a strong bass beat. There
was one I heard on Monday that I LOVED and wanted to get the name of it so I could
request it at the HOBY dance, but I didn't catch enough of the words and I remember
none of them now. So let's say Right Round by Flo Rida. Unlike Dead or Alive's
You Spin Me Round, which I find terribly difficult to dance to. To which I find it
terribly difficult to dance. >.<
10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
Uh. N/A? A lot of people would say anything classical, but that's false for me. So
instead I'll just name a classical song... Tres Gnossiennes by Erik Satie.
11 - a song from your favorite band
That's as impossible as asking my favorite song. Right now I have Rabbits Will Run
by Iron & Wine stuck in my head.
12 - a song from a band you hate
I also already answered this. Another band I dislike is Alien Ant Farm. Haha.
13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
Every crappy pop hip hop song that is on the radio. Also, things like Lead Me by
Raze. Haha.
14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
Every crappy pop hip hop song that is on the radio. OH and lots of people are
surprised to learn just how much I love Eminem, particularly Love the Way You Lie.
15 - a song that describes you
I'm going to just pick an arbitrary song and tell everyone to listen to Buried
Alive by Dead Man's Bones.
16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
I don't hate it, but I no longer listen to or care about Yellowcard's Only One.
17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
Christina Perri's Jar of Hearts (which I am a huge fan of). Of which I am a huge fan.
18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
mewithoutyou's The Crow, The Fox, and The Cookie. Rather, The Fox, The Crow, and
the Cookie.
19 - a song from your favorite album
How about a song from my favorite Beck album? Which would be Sunday Sun from Sea Change.
20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
Strip by Rammstein... which randomly popped into my head on Monday when I was
packing up my car. Such a good song.
21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
Absolutely that would be Ratatat's Lex.
22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
I refuse to listen to music when I'm sad, lest any particular artist or song will
become associated with that momentary depression. So instead, you should listen to
Mogwai!
23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
No question. Instrumental by Rob Dougan.
24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
I don't particularly want to have a funeral? So instead, you should listen to
Rods N Cones by Blue Man Group. Really.
25 - a song that makes you laugh
Uh. None? No, I lied. Beware the Friendly Stranger by Boards of Canada, well-known
for its use in Saladfingers.
26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
Eminem's Love the Way You Lie, but I already used that. So... the theme song from
Disney-Pixar's Up.
27 - a song that you wish you could play
Arcade Fire's My Body is a Cage. Also, I just found free piano sheet music for
Jar of Hearts. The music video is SO good.
28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
Uh... N/A. So, instead, look up Major Tom by Shiny Toy Guns.
29 - a song from your childhood
The platypus song by Buddy Davis. Haha. Maybe my obsession with him is resurfacing
as my current obsession with hipster-folk music?
30 - your favorite song at this time last year
I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab for Cutie.
Yay, music! <3
It's impossible to choose. Right now, anything by S. Carey and Big Blood and
iron & Wine and Dead Man's Bones and Zeds Dead. But let's go with Rothko Fields
by S. Carey.
02 - your least favorite song
Easy. Photograph by Nickelback. And anything by Nickelback.
03 - a song that makes you happy
Sing, Sing, Sing by Benny Goodman. Jazz Band was finishing up this song when I
arrived to rehearsal yesterday and all I wished was that I knew how to Charleston
so that I could dance into the band room. This song makes you want to move.
04 - a song that makes you sad
That one worship song that includes the line, "Like a rose trampled on the ground."
It's entirely unnecessary for a popular worship song to be so emo.
05 - a song that reminds you of someone
Most of the later tracks of Joy Electric's Hello Mannequin album and most every
song by Death Cab for Cutie. But I'm trying to forget both of those associations
so that I can enjoy the music independently once again. But to pick one song, I
would say the song about bees by Steve Vai just because I dislike it so much.
06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere
Somewhere? Huh. I guess any song by any band or artist I've ever seen perform. To
pick one awesome one, I would have to say You Enjoy Myself by Phish. They did the
coolest vocal jam EVER.
07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event
These are all the same question, only slightly different. I don't have an answer
to this one right now...
08 - a song that you know all the words to
So many. But Rob Dougan's Left Me for Dead and mewithoutyou's Gentlemen are two
I'll never ever unlearn.
09 - a song that you can dance to
Every single crappy pop hip hop song on the radio with a strong bass beat. There
was one I heard on Monday that I LOVED and wanted to get the name of it so I could
request it at the HOBY dance, but I didn't catch enough of the words and I remember
none of them now. So let's say Right Round by Flo Rida. Unlike Dead or Alive's
You Spin Me Round, which I find terribly difficult to dance to. To which I find it
terribly difficult to dance. >.<
10 - a song that makes you fall asleep
Uh. N/A? A lot of people would say anything classical, but that's false for me. So
instead I'll just name a classical song... Tres Gnossiennes by Erik Satie.
11 - a song from your favorite band
That's as impossible as asking my favorite song. Right now I have Rabbits Will Run
by Iron & Wine stuck in my head.
12 - a song from a band you hate
I also already answered this. Another band I dislike is Alien Ant Farm. Haha.
13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure
Every crappy pop hip hop song that is on the radio. Also, things like Lead Me by
Raze. Haha.
14 - a song that no one would expect you to love
Every crappy pop hip hop song that is on the radio. OH and lots of people are
surprised to learn just how much I love Eminem, particularly Love the Way You Lie.
15 - a song that describes you
I'm going to just pick an arbitrary song and tell everyone to listen to Buried
Alive by Dead Man's Bones.
16 - a song that you used to love but now hate
I don't hate it, but I no longer listen to or care about Yellowcard's Only One.
17 - a song that you hear often on the radio
Christina Perri's Jar of Hearts (which I am a huge fan of). Of which I am a huge fan.
18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio
mewithoutyou's The Crow, The Fox, and The Cookie. Rather, The Fox, The Crow, and
the Cookie.
19 - a song from your favorite album
How about a song from my favorite Beck album? Which would be Sunday Sun from Sea Change.
20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry
Strip by Rammstein... which randomly popped into my head on Monday when I was
packing up my car. Such a good song.
21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy
Absolutely that would be Ratatat's Lex.
22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad
I refuse to listen to music when I'm sad, lest any particular artist or song will
become associated with that momentary depression. So instead, you should listen to
Mogwai!
23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding
No question. Instrumental by Rob Dougan.
24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral
I don't particularly want to have a funeral? So instead, you should listen to
Rods N Cones by Blue Man Group. Really.
25 - a song that makes you laugh
Uh. None? No, I lied. Beware the Friendly Stranger by Boards of Canada, well-known
for its use in Saladfingers.
26 - a song that you can play on an instrument
Eminem's Love the Way You Lie, but I already used that. So... the theme song from
Disney-Pixar's Up.
27 - a song that you wish you could play
Arcade Fire's My Body is a Cage. Also, I just found free piano sheet music for
Jar of Hearts. The music video is SO good.
28 - a song that makes you feel guilty
Uh... N/A. So, instead, look up Major Tom by Shiny Toy Guns.
29 - a song from your childhood
The platypus song by Buddy Davis. Haha. Maybe my obsession with him is resurfacing
as my current obsession with hipster-folk music?
30 - your favorite song at this time last year
I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab for Cutie.
Yay, music! <3
Monday, April 4, 2011
Group Projects
Due to the sensitivity of this topic and the likelihood that it will inevitably
resemble actual persons, I am going to try and keep this as objective and research-
based as possible. This blog was never meant to be a place for rants and I apologize
that one of my recent posts slipped in and out of ranty-ness. Even worse than this,
it ended up being a passive way to confront the situation and, if you're a regular
reader, you may be aware of how much I am bothered by passivity.
Also, I am now aware that the grumpiness of current group members was due less to
maladaptive group dynamics and more to an equal disdain for group projects. Huh.
"We are a group but we do not want to be; we are a forced group; we do not feel as
if we are a truly united group." (Thanks, Group Process! Most-enriching course that
I do not enjoy!)
Anyway.
A Study, Analysis, and Critique of Group Projects in a School Setting (Primarily College)
To be informed by objective research and current studies within the course, Group Process
What is the rationale behind group projects in a college setting?
The typical reasoning I have heard within casual conversations with faculty is that
group projects prepare students for the future requirement of working well with
others in the workforce. One specific professor expressed that this is an outdated
philosophy. I'm not quite convinced it was ever in-date.
Public education in general (particularly elementary and secondary schools) is
structured to condition students to enter the factory workforce. They are trained
in both broad categories, such as attention to detailed instructions and following
authority, and small details, such as becoming accustomed to being directed by a
bell. Elementary and secondary schools are factories for future factory-workers.
This particular model is outdated, as 11% of Americans worked in manufacturing in
2008. And that's all of manufacturing, not just factory-line production jobs.
So, public elementary and secondary education structure is behind-the-times in regards
to these instances of conditioning (surprise, surprise). Is college education group
project-centered structure likewise outdated? Honestly, I'm not sure. I would need
to interview a variety of people within the modern workforce to try and gauge how
applicable past group project experiences are to their current careers. In pure
speculation, I imagine that it is generally important in most workplaces to be able
to work well with others (see examples of workplace group dynamic conflict in shows
such as The Office and Traffic Light or the movie Office Space). Life is social.
It is generally important to be able to work well with others in a variety of contexts,
whether within career or otherwise (being a good conversationalist at family events;
being a non-grumpy customer when interacting with servers, cashiers, and other
service workers; and so on).
Do college group project assignments reflect group assignments that are common in
goal-oriented groups, such as those found within workplaces? I speculate no, but I
cannot say for sure. I speculate no mostly because it's my gut feeling. I'd like to
say that work pressures are different from school pressures because students are so
severely focused on grades, but employees are likewise focused on keeping their jobs.
I'm not sure how else school (specifically college) is different from a job because
I have only limited experience in the workforce.
I do, however, have a bit of experience working in groups that are not school-related.
First, I have been an active member of two committees at a local youth and family
community theater. The first, the teen committee, was during my junior year of high
school and consisted of three or four high school students and one or two adult
advisors (the numbers fluccuated). I had probably done a group project or two before
this time (yes, at least one for speech class at HACC), but my ability to participate
in and contribute to the committee was not largely influenced by past group project
experience. The second was an ad hoc committee during my senior year of high school.
This committee's purpose was to study and analyze ticket sales and theater patrons
in order to somehow increase the numbers of both. This committee met more frequently
than the first (approximately once a month) and I was the only non-adult member.
I was an active participant of the committee, but never explicitly called on past
group project experiences to inform this participation.
Second, my coworkers at my job back home qualify as a group. Perhaps we are more
independent than we are collectively goal-oriented, but there is teamwork. Again, I
never explicitly call on past group project experiences to relate to this group.
Is it possible that my past group project experiences subconciously influenced my
ability to function as a participatory member of these groups? Perhaps, but if
subconscious learning is the only reason to endure school group projects...?
I'm not convinced.
I am currently taking a course called Group Process and Interpersonal Communication.
It is a weird class. But I have learned more about group functioning than I ever
was aware of learning in all of my group project experiences. It's a weird course and
I don't like the class much, but I like the material and the assignments and I can
feel myself becoming more aware. Huzzah, Sociology!
While I am of the school of thought that every skill and area of knowledge can be
improved and increased to an infinite degree, I've felt confident in the areas we
have covered during the course (leadership, conflict management, communication, etc).
Well, maybe not communication, but that's a weird and recent development. Even though
I have felt confident in these skill areas, I am becoming more aware of how they
function within a group setting. I forget where I was going with this, but I think
the point was that I feel confident in my skills and knowledge to function within
a group. Even if I was less aware before taking this course, I still feel that I was
able to function efficiently within a group.
Long story short, group projects have not taught me anything about how to work in a
group with other people.
Do other people need to learn this skill set from experiencing group projects?
Maybe, but I don't want to.
:)
resemble actual persons, I am going to try and keep this as objective and research-
based as possible. This blog was never meant to be a place for rants and I apologize
that one of my recent posts slipped in and out of ranty-ness. Even worse than this,
it ended up being a passive way to confront the situation and, if you're a regular
reader, you may be aware of how much I am bothered by passivity.
Also, I am now aware that the grumpiness of current group members was due less to
maladaptive group dynamics and more to an equal disdain for group projects. Huh.
"We are a group but we do not want to be; we are a forced group; we do not feel as
if we are a truly united group." (Thanks, Group Process! Most-enriching course that
I do not enjoy!)
Anyway.
A Study, Analysis, and Critique of Group Projects in a School Setting (Primarily College)
To be informed by objective research and current studies within the course, Group Process
What is the rationale behind group projects in a college setting?
The typical reasoning I have heard within casual conversations with faculty is that
group projects prepare students for the future requirement of working well with
others in the workforce. One specific professor expressed that this is an outdated
philosophy. I'm not quite convinced it was ever in-date.
Public education in general (particularly elementary and secondary schools) is
structured to condition students to enter the factory workforce. They are trained
in both broad categories, such as attention to detailed instructions and following
authority, and small details, such as becoming accustomed to being directed by a
bell. Elementary and secondary schools are factories for future factory-workers.
This particular model is outdated, as 11% of Americans worked in manufacturing in
2008. And that's all of manufacturing, not just factory-line production jobs.
So, public elementary and secondary education structure is behind-the-times in regards
to these instances of conditioning (surprise, surprise). Is college education group
project-centered structure likewise outdated? Honestly, I'm not sure. I would need
to interview a variety of people within the modern workforce to try and gauge how
applicable past group project experiences are to their current careers. In pure
speculation, I imagine that it is generally important in most workplaces to be able
to work well with others (see examples of workplace group dynamic conflict in shows
such as The Office and Traffic Light or the movie Office Space). Life is social.
It is generally important to be able to work well with others in a variety of contexts,
whether within career or otherwise (being a good conversationalist at family events;
being a non-grumpy customer when interacting with servers, cashiers, and other
service workers; and so on).
Do college group project assignments reflect group assignments that are common in
goal-oriented groups, such as those found within workplaces? I speculate no, but I
cannot say for sure. I speculate no mostly because it's my gut feeling. I'd like to
say that work pressures are different from school pressures because students are so
severely focused on grades, but employees are likewise focused on keeping their jobs.
I'm not sure how else school (specifically college) is different from a job because
I have only limited experience in the workforce.
I do, however, have a bit of experience working in groups that are not school-related.
First, I have been an active member of two committees at a local youth and family
community theater. The first, the teen committee, was during my junior year of high
school and consisted of three or four high school students and one or two adult
advisors (the numbers fluccuated). I had probably done a group project or two before
this time (yes, at least one for speech class at HACC), but my ability to participate
in and contribute to the committee was not largely influenced by past group project
experience. The second was an ad hoc committee during my senior year of high school.
This committee's purpose was to study and analyze ticket sales and theater patrons
in order to somehow increase the numbers of both. This committee met more frequently
than the first (approximately once a month) and I was the only non-adult member.
I was an active participant of the committee, but never explicitly called on past
group project experiences to inform this participation.
Second, my coworkers at my job back home qualify as a group. Perhaps we are more
independent than we are collectively goal-oriented, but there is teamwork. Again, I
never explicitly call on past group project experiences to relate to this group.
Is it possible that my past group project experiences subconciously influenced my
ability to function as a participatory member of these groups? Perhaps, but if
subconscious learning is the only reason to endure school group projects...?
I'm not convinced.
I am currently taking a course called Group Process and Interpersonal Communication.
It is a weird class. But I have learned more about group functioning than I ever
was aware of learning in all of my group project experiences. It's a weird course and
I don't like the class much, but I like the material and the assignments and I can
feel myself becoming more aware. Huzzah, Sociology!
While I am of the school of thought that every skill and area of knowledge can be
improved and increased to an infinite degree, I've felt confident in the areas we
have covered during the course (leadership, conflict management, communication, etc).
Well, maybe not communication, but that's a weird and recent development. Even though
I have felt confident in these skill areas, I am becoming more aware of how they
function within a group setting. I forget where I was going with this, but I think
the point was that I feel confident in my skills and knowledge to function within
a group. Even if I was less aware before taking this course, I still feel that I was
able to function efficiently within a group.
Long story short, group projects have not taught me anything about how to work in a
group with other people.
Do other people need to learn this skill set from experiencing group projects?
Maybe, but I don't want to.
:)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Reading Suggestions
Read this:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/200909/why-don-t-students-school-well-duhhhh
And this:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/201103/criminals-look-different-noncriminals
And this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/20/fashion/20Cultural.html?pagewanted=2&_r=1&adxnnlx=1300824299-mJR7ZISMh6VqxfyYocAjMg
You're welcome.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/200909/why-don-t-students-school-well-duhhhh
And this:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/201103/criminals-look-different-noncriminals
And this:
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/20/fashion/20Cultural.html?pagewanted=2&_r=1&adxnnlx=1300824299-mJR7ZISMh6VqxfyYocAjMg
You're welcome.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
College - Spring 2011
My first semester, college was AWESOME. My second semester, college was pretty
sweet, but I was significantly less satisfied. Although, in retrospect, it was a good
semester. Last semester, college was good and school was not fun. I felt like I
learned nothing and I retained little. This semester, college and school are okay and
I'm happy, even though I'm frequently bored.
Don't get me wrong, I love college and I love Bridgewater and am still wholly
committed to her. And, it's not so much that I have complaints, it's just that I see
a lot of areas where things could be improved. Overall, my college is satisfactory,
but there are lots of little details that could really make it awesome.
In regards to this, there is a continuum (surprise, surprise) that goes from harping
on every little detailed flaw on one end to ignoring those details and being passive
and satisfied on the other. In the middle lies a balance of active participation in
striving for greater satisfaction. So, no, I'm not going to list the little details that
bug me. From now on, I'm going to try and filter out what I believe really is not so
important from what I think really does need changed. And we'll see what I end up
with and what is actually feasible to change.
There is a continuum that goes from considering every positive possibility and being
greatly dissatisfied on one end to being stagnantly satisfied and ignoring every
possibility for greater satisfaction on the other.
Surprise, satisfaction.
Well, that's what I'm THINKING. Let's talk about what I'm DOING.
Psychology Research Methods
Ehhh. My professor is very much close to my conceptualization of a utopia professor,
according to my "If I Were a Teacher." And I like the class, it just has a tendency
to not keep me awake because so much of this is review from Socio Methods-I last
semester. It also has the potential to muddle things in my head because it is very
much overlapping with Socio Methods-II and the styles of these professors are a bit
different and learning the same information twice in slightly different ways with
slightly different details potentially causes some confusion. Also, this course will
be a good opportunity to practice empowerment and transformational leadership
because I am fairly confident in my knowledge of this information and am planning
to relent a lot of power to other people for the group project so that they can get
the most out of the learning experience. Third test on Friday. I met with my prof.
this afternoon to finalize and confirm the psych classes I am taking next year for my
minor and we also momentarily discussed methods class and how he can frequently
feel (and empathize with) my boredom and how he should not be concerned if I step
back within the group project in order to empower my classmates to learn.
Today, we were working on our project methodology and there was a pretty stark
conflict because two of our members were opposed to ( as in, "not at all interested in")
the design that had been determined last week. It was weird. Thanks to Group Process,
I was extremely aware of the tension. Or, thanks to Group Process, I saw where tension
should be and succeeded in fabricating how the group felt. Maybe that's what I
understand least about Group Process... I'm starting to see when typical group events
(ie, conflict) occur, but an observer (whether internal or external, overt or covert) cannot
infer that every member of the group feels the typical feeling associated with specific
events. …which I guess is okay, as long as the observer recognizes that. Reflexivity.
Geology
Geology is a fine gen ed class. Lots of millions and billions and lots of kids who
don't pay nearly enough attention, but it's okay. I don't hate it, but it's not my favorite.
Second test on Wednesday. I do enjoy the concepts we’re learning, but the class really
drags on. It’s from 10-10:50am and, every time I look at the clock expecting class to
be nearly over, it’s only ~10:30am.
Group Process
Weird weird weird weird WEIRD class. At first, it made me super super nervous.
Then, I really started to enjoy it and it was my favorite and it was awesome. Now?
I really don't like it much at all. I do feel like I am learning a lot about group process
and, in terms of the COURSE, it's great. In terms of the CLASS, I feel quite a bit of
tension, although it's usually below the surface. [insert previous discussion of tension
here] For the course term paper, I am observing Jazz Band. So far, it’s been pretty
sweet because I already knew I love ethnography and ethnography-like things. The
hardest part is the fact that I have to observe and participate at the same time. It can be
really overwhelming. I wonder if anyone in Jazz Band has gotten the feeling that I’m
creeping on them. Anyway. The outline for that paper consists of Humor, Authority,
Subgroups by Section, and Cliques. So yeah, I definitely like the class more than I like
the course. Yay, Sociology!
Social Inequality
Being polite, this course is fluff. It is a 400-level course and has so much potential to be
really enriching. After all, it is a required course for Sociology majors. Last week, as a
study of the effects of class inequality, we watched The Notebook. I feel like it would
have been a more enriching and applicable choice to watch The Aristocats. (and, while
The Notebook is good, The Aristocats is AWESOME) There's a really strange disconnect
in the course. The professor always emphasizes how this is a 400-level course and we
are expected to execute 400-level Sociological thought and analysis. But instead, we're being
told how to formulate paper intros and thesis statements, watching The Notebook, and
just skimming the surface of an analysis of inequality. Watch out, future students of this
course, I'm going to tear it apart on the evaluation. I'm also going to suggest
watching The Aristocats in future semesters. That is my gift to you.
Socio Methods-II
Going well. I'll have more to say once data analysis begins. Data collection closed today
and I have all of my data entered, as of 4pm today. I’m probably going to back off a bit
from helping my classmates so much. Maybe. It’s frustrating and time-consuming, but I
feel somewhat obligated. Compassion? I dunno. But we have tutors… But I understand
students probably feel more comfortable asking a peer rather than a professor or tutor…
But… Empowerment, empowerment, empowerment. Right? Right.
Also, there was ridiculous drama Wednesday and Thursday between some students
over the homework that was due Thursday. It was ridiculous. In class on Thursday, the
professor admitted that he had not explained the assignment sufficiently and that points
would be given for either of the two answers that were ill-explained. There was no real
reason for all the drama that occurred. So yeah, I’ll try to be more empowering, but what
really needs to happen is for everyone to take personal responsibility for their own stuff
and not judge their correctness based on the answers of another student. Ughhhh.
Piano
Also going well, although I feel like I'm learning significantly less literature than any
previous semester. But that's perfectly fine with me. The Beethoven piece took a lot of
time and I did that for the General Recital last week. The Mozart piece is different than
what I usually learn, but it's fairly simple. I started with the second movement and have
started working on the first movement, but haven't played it for my teacher yet. And
then there's the Scarlatti piece. I learned a Scarlatti sonata last semester and tackled
it with relative ease. But this semester's piece is killing me. Well, kind of. I just don't particularly
like it. I'm not sure if the difference in Scarlatti experiences is due to a difference between
the pieces or a difference between piano teachers.
Today, my teacher and I spent the entire 30-minute lesson working on the Scarlatti piece.
He had me tear it apart by working hands separately and writing down fingerings. He
said the moral of today that, for anything you’re going to do that you’re less than familiar
with, you need to have a plan. Life lessons from Dr. Taylor. :)
Jazz
Also going well. Not much to say because we’re currently experiencing the liminality
between the high from a really great concert and the commitment to working toward the
next concert.
Library
Working at the library is probably one of my favorite things about Bridgewater, actually.
I wonder if I could get a library job for a few hours a week wherever I decide to go to
Grad School. You know, in addition to a real job and/or an internship. I love seeing so
many people in such a short time and serving as a distraction from homework for people
who want to stop by and talk. It’s the best.
Book Club
To counteract the boredom I had been experiencing earlier in the semester, I met with
my PDP advisor, who is an English Professor, to discuss the possibility of starting an
informal book discussion club. We’re doing it. For right now, as far as I know, it’ll be
just him and me, but we’re meeting on Friday to discuss Neuromancer. I’m super
excited that he’s excited about my dystopian list of books to read. SUPER excited.
French Horn
After not touching my French horn all year, I met with Dr. Weir on Friday to make
sure it was in tune, learn a bit about French horn, and have a very simple beginner
lesson. It’s feasible, but it’s going to take some time and I probably won’t be able
to devote enough time to it during the rest of the semester. We’ll see. Summer goal
number one!
Housing
In a last minute scramble, I applied for an RA position for next year and had an
interview. I didn’t get the position, but I found three new apartment mates and the four
of us will be living in the Stone Village next year. SUPER excited.
Additionally, I dyed my hair “violet soft black” on Saturday and dyed “soft black” over
that because it was too light and too purple. Well, not really too purple. It was in a weird
middle area where it was neither purplepurple or if it was purplyblack. It’s now mostly
black with some reddish-purple undertones and I love it. SUPER excited.
Also, my HOBY friend in Baltimore posted about a Matt and Kim show on June 1 and
I said that I would come down to attend that with her. I happened to browse the other
shows that were occurring at the venue and saw that Iron and Wine (opening with The
Low Anthem) was playing on April 20. I’m going. Even though it’s a school night, even
though I’ll have to drive three hours up to see the show and three hours down for my
Thursday 8am and three hours on Thursday to go home for Easter. Theoretically, I could
just bail on my Thursday classes and go straight home from Baltimore, but Jazz Band
is supposed to be playing a set at the retirement community that afternoon. But even
though, I’m going. SUPER excited.
Also, I added semester end-date to my criteria for prospective grad schools and all of the
schools on my current list (Pitt, Bryn Mawr, Gallaudet) end early enough for me to keep
attending HOBY. HOBY every year for the rest of my life, forever. SUPER excited.
And, on an unrelated note, I think "army wives," "army girlfriends," and the like
serve a really important purpose for the mental health of spoken-for military
members. Sure, the soldiers want to return home to their family, neighborhood, and
so on, but there's even more motivation to stay alive when a significant relationship
(ie, romantic) is involved. I wonder if military members are even more susceptible
to mental health breakdown due to the breakup of their military-civilian relationship.
Or maybe they use denial by focusing even more on their military life? Or maybe
civilians generally avoid ending civilian-military relationships while their significant
other is away? That seems plausible.
And, finally, in conclusion, I'm really sorry if my posts tend to be redundant
restatements of what I've said before. I have experienced conversations where each
new conversation is a shallow rehashing of everything that's already been covered.
And I don't want to do that, so I hope I'm able to be a bit deeper in my redundancies
than simply repeating what I've said before with no additional insight(s).
sweet, but I was significantly less satisfied. Although, in retrospect, it was a good
semester. Last semester, college was good and school was not fun. I felt like I
learned nothing and I retained little. This semester, college and school are okay and
I'm happy, even though I'm frequently bored.
Don't get me wrong, I love college and I love Bridgewater and am still wholly
committed to her. And, it's not so much that I have complaints, it's just that I see
a lot of areas where things could be improved. Overall, my college is satisfactory,
but there are lots of little details that could really make it awesome.
In regards to this, there is a continuum (surprise, surprise) that goes from harping
on every little detailed flaw on one end to ignoring those details and being passive
and satisfied on the other. In the middle lies a balance of active participation in
striving for greater satisfaction. So, no, I'm not going to list the little details that
bug me. From now on, I'm going to try and filter out what I believe really is not so
important from what I think really does need changed. And we'll see what I end up
with and what is actually feasible to change.
There is a continuum that goes from considering every positive possibility and being
greatly dissatisfied on one end to being stagnantly satisfied and ignoring every
possibility for greater satisfaction on the other.
Surprise, satisfaction.
Well, that's what I'm THINKING. Let's talk about what I'm DOING.
Psychology Research Methods
Ehhh. My professor is very much close to my conceptualization of a utopia professor,
according to my "If I Were a Teacher." And I like the class, it just has a tendency
to not keep me awake because so much of this is review from Socio Methods-I last
semester. It also has the potential to muddle things in my head because it is very
much overlapping with Socio Methods-II and the styles of these professors are a bit
different and learning the same information twice in slightly different ways with
slightly different details potentially causes some confusion. Also, this course will
be a good opportunity to practice empowerment and transformational leadership
because I am fairly confident in my knowledge of this information and am planning
to relent a lot of power to other people for the group project so that they can get
the most out of the learning experience. Third test on Friday. I met with my prof.
this afternoon to finalize and confirm the psych classes I am taking next year for my
minor and we also momentarily discussed methods class and how he can frequently
feel (and empathize with) my boredom and how he should not be concerned if I step
back within the group project in order to empower my classmates to learn.
Today, we were working on our project methodology and there was a pretty stark
conflict because two of our members were opposed to ( as in, "not at all interested in")
the design that had been determined last week. It was weird. Thanks to Group Process,
I was extremely aware of the tension. Or, thanks to Group Process, I saw where tension
should be and succeeded in fabricating how the group felt. Maybe that's what I
understand least about Group Process... I'm starting to see when typical group events
(ie, conflict) occur, but an observer (whether internal or external, overt or covert) cannot
infer that every member of the group feels the typical feeling associated with specific
events. …which I guess is okay, as long as the observer recognizes that. Reflexivity.
Geology
Geology is a fine gen ed class. Lots of millions and billions and lots of kids who
don't pay nearly enough attention, but it's okay. I don't hate it, but it's not my favorite.
Second test on Wednesday. I do enjoy the concepts we’re learning, but the class really
drags on. It’s from 10-10:50am and, every time I look at the clock expecting class to
be nearly over, it’s only ~10:30am.
Group Process
Weird weird weird weird WEIRD class. At first, it made me super super nervous.
Then, I really started to enjoy it and it was my favorite and it was awesome. Now?
I really don't like it much at all. I do feel like I am learning a lot about group process
and, in terms of the COURSE, it's great. In terms of the CLASS, I feel quite a bit of
tension, although it's usually below the surface. [insert previous discussion of tension
here] For the course term paper, I am observing Jazz Band. So far, it’s been pretty
sweet because I already knew I love ethnography and ethnography-like things. The
hardest part is the fact that I have to observe and participate at the same time. It can be
really overwhelming. I wonder if anyone in Jazz Band has gotten the feeling that I’m
creeping on them. Anyway. The outline for that paper consists of Humor, Authority,
Subgroups by Section, and Cliques. So yeah, I definitely like the class more than I like
the course. Yay, Sociology!
Social Inequality
Being polite, this course is fluff. It is a 400-level course and has so much potential to be
really enriching. After all, it is a required course for Sociology majors. Last week, as a
study of the effects of class inequality, we watched The Notebook. I feel like it would
have been a more enriching and applicable choice to watch The Aristocats. (and, while
The Notebook is good, The Aristocats is AWESOME) There's a really strange disconnect
in the course. The professor always emphasizes how this is a 400-level course and we
are expected to execute 400-level Sociological thought and analysis. But instead, we're being
told how to formulate paper intros and thesis statements, watching The Notebook, and
just skimming the surface of an analysis of inequality. Watch out, future students of this
course, I'm going to tear it apart on the evaluation. I'm also going to suggest
watching The Aristocats in future semesters. That is my gift to you.
Socio Methods-II
Going well. I'll have more to say once data analysis begins. Data collection closed today
and I have all of my data entered, as of 4pm today. I’m probably going to back off a bit
from helping my classmates so much. Maybe. It’s frustrating and time-consuming, but I
feel somewhat obligated. Compassion? I dunno. But we have tutors… But I understand
students probably feel more comfortable asking a peer rather than a professor or tutor…
But… Empowerment, empowerment, empowerment. Right? Right.
Also, there was ridiculous drama Wednesday and Thursday between some students
over the homework that was due Thursday. It was ridiculous. In class on Thursday, the
professor admitted that he had not explained the assignment sufficiently and that points
would be given for either of the two answers that were ill-explained. There was no real
reason for all the drama that occurred. So yeah, I’ll try to be more empowering, but what
really needs to happen is for everyone to take personal responsibility for their own stuff
and not judge their correctness based on the answers of another student. Ughhhh.
Piano
Also going well, although I feel like I'm learning significantly less literature than any
previous semester. But that's perfectly fine with me. The Beethoven piece took a lot of
time and I did that for the General Recital last week. The Mozart piece is different than
what I usually learn, but it's fairly simple. I started with the second movement and have
started working on the first movement, but haven't played it for my teacher yet. And
then there's the Scarlatti piece. I learned a Scarlatti sonata last semester and tackled
it with relative ease. But this semester's piece is killing me. Well, kind of. I just don't particularly
like it. I'm not sure if the difference in Scarlatti experiences is due to a difference between
the pieces or a difference between piano teachers.
Today, my teacher and I spent the entire 30-minute lesson working on the Scarlatti piece.
He had me tear it apart by working hands separately and writing down fingerings. He
said the moral of today that, for anything you’re going to do that you’re less than familiar
with, you need to have a plan. Life lessons from Dr. Taylor. :)
Jazz
Also going well. Not much to say because we’re currently experiencing the liminality
between the high from a really great concert and the commitment to working toward the
next concert.
Library
Working at the library is probably one of my favorite things about Bridgewater, actually.
I wonder if I could get a library job for a few hours a week wherever I decide to go to
Grad School. You know, in addition to a real job and/or an internship. I love seeing so
many people in such a short time and serving as a distraction from homework for people
who want to stop by and talk. It’s the best.
Book Club
To counteract the boredom I had been experiencing earlier in the semester, I met with
my PDP advisor, who is an English Professor, to discuss the possibility of starting an
informal book discussion club. We’re doing it. For right now, as far as I know, it’ll be
just him and me, but we’re meeting on Friday to discuss Neuromancer. I’m super
excited that he’s excited about my dystopian list of books to read. SUPER excited.
French Horn
After not touching my French horn all year, I met with Dr. Weir on Friday to make
sure it was in tune, learn a bit about French horn, and have a very simple beginner
lesson. It’s feasible, but it’s going to take some time and I probably won’t be able
to devote enough time to it during the rest of the semester. We’ll see. Summer goal
number one!
Housing
In a last minute scramble, I applied for an RA position for next year and had an
interview. I didn’t get the position, but I found three new apartment mates and the four
of us will be living in the Stone Village next year. SUPER excited.
Additionally, I dyed my hair “violet soft black” on Saturday and dyed “soft black” over
that because it was too light and too purple. Well, not really too purple. It was in a weird
middle area where it was neither purplepurple or if it was purplyblack. It’s now mostly
black with some reddish-purple undertones and I love it. SUPER excited.
Also, my HOBY friend in Baltimore posted about a Matt and Kim show on June 1 and
I said that I would come down to attend that with her. I happened to browse the other
shows that were occurring at the venue and saw that Iron and Wine (opening with The
Low Anthem) was playing on April 20. I’m going. Even though it’s a school night, even
though I’ll have to drive three hours up to see the show and three hours down for my
Thursday 8am and three hours on Thursday to go home for Easter. Theoretically, I could
just bail on my Thursday classes and go straight home from Baltimore, but Jazz Band
is supposed to be playing a set at the retirement community that afternoon. But even
though, I’m going. SUPER excited.
Also, I added semester end-date to my criteria for prospective grad schools and all of the
schools on my current list (Pitt, Bryn Mawr, Gallaudet) end early enough for me to keep
attending HOBY. HOBY every year for the rest of my life, forever. SUPER excited.
And, on an unrelated note, I think "army wives," "army girlfriends," and the like
serve a really important purpose for the mental health of spoken-for military
members. Sure, the soldiers want to return home to their family, neighborhood, and
so on, but there's even more motivation to stay alive when a significant relationship
(ie, romantic) is involved. I wonder if military members are even more susceptible
to mental health breakdown due to the breakup of their military-civilian relationship.
Or maybe they use denial by focusing even more on their military life? Or maybe
civilians generally avoid ending civilian-military relationships while their significant
other is away? That seems plausible.
And, finally, in conclusion, I'm really sorry if my posts tend to be redundant
restatements of what I've said before. I have experienced conversations where each
new conversation is a shallow rehashing of everything that's already been covered.
And I don't want to do that, so I hope I'm able to be a bit deeper in my redundancies
than simply repeating what I've said before with no additional insight(s).
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Not Title-able
I'm not quite in the proper mood to write a blog, but I have a fairly substantial
chunk of time I need to kill.
Remember how I said Lord of the Flies was next on my reading list? I mistakenly got
The Grapes of Wrath from the library and am currently working on reading that. I'm
taking my time because it's not the easiest read, but I like it so far. Yes, even the
four chapters about the turtle crossing the road. There was a severe disconnect for
quite some time because I had looked up the synopsis of Lord of the Flies, expecting
to read that next and, for quite some time, while I was reading the chapters about
the turtle and the dust storms, I kept wondering when the characters would end up on
a remote island and have to establish their own government. Heh. Good old disconnect.
I also got Neuromancer from the library and it is sitting on my pile for when I
finish The Grapes of Wrath. My goal is to finish The Grapes of Wrath by my birthday.
Oh, hey! My birthday's coming up! Should I be excited? I'm not. I'm usually not a
particularly excitable person, actually. And, even I were a more excitable person,
it's only number twenty. The only significant landmark associated with twenty is the
cessation of the teenage age and the accomplishment of being one more year closer to
legal freedom. Haha, legal freedom. Anyway. Birthday? No big deal. I only noticed it
was coming up because I was working at the library and the due date for some items
happened to be the date of my birthday.
There was an article in the most recent edition of the college newspaper that started
out by saying "I hate Valentine's Day!" The author went on to simply say that the
day always reminds him of his loneliness. The rest of the article had nothing to do
with Valentine's Day OR his loneliness.
I will be having an interview sometime next week for my application to be an RA next
year and, with a fear of high expectations in mind, I AM SO EXCITED.
Also, today I met with a Sociology professor to get general advice about grad school.
I had arrived early and was waiting in the lounge when she arrived and asked me if
she was late. She made no move to look at a watch, so I'm guessing she doesn't wear
one. Neither do I, but my phone is my timekeeper. I started not wearing a watch a
few years ago for one of my classes as an experiment in sacrifice and relaxation.
The experiment required me to not wear a watch for a full week. I haven't worn one
since - with the exception of during my trip to Australia. And then I became more
and more attached to my phone. And then I entered a world where the structure is
mandated by time and anxiety has been conditioned with being late. So, essentially,
the world I'm in doesn't allow a timeless freedom and that's a shame because I
really do enjoy it. But, no, I'm held to my class schedule, my work schedule, my
activity schedule, the dining schedule, and so on. I've known people on both sides
of the continuum in regards to responding to this structure. I know the kind who
rebel completely and lose almost all sense of time. I know the kind who embrace the
overwhelming nature of structure with multiple calendars or other methods of
keeping a schedule. I'm suppose I'm close to being balanced and moderate, but I
would prefer to be more toward the timeless side. In my current environment, the
best way to make that happen would be to schedule all classes in one big chunk each
day. That way, I could keep going until I was done and wouldn't have to look at the
time, except to know when to start.
Speaking of being overwhelmed, I feel that I've become even more OCD since the
beginning of this semester. For nearly a week, almost every day, I've been writing
myself a daily to-do list. To me, this seems excessive. Am I busier? Have I too much
to do? No, just the opposite. I have things to do, obviously, but I have just little
enough that suppose I fear it would be easy to sit and do nothing. So, instead,
I've been writing myself daily to-do lists that I commit myself to completing before
I allow myself to sit and do nothing. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This sounds like
workaholicism to me (which, apparently, I've never posted about?). Not allowing one's
self to enjoy nothingness until everything is completed? I do believe that was my
brother and my working definition of workaholicism... Oh dear, dear, dear. But it
can't be! I've been doing SO much nothing! I watched the entire first season of a
new tv show over the past two days! I'm doing nothing right now! I'm going to do
nothing tonight! Perhaps this workaholicism would only be a severe problem if I had
much more to do and thus never scheduled time for myself to do nothing. Maybe it's
okay so long as I don't get to the point where I would need to schedule time to do
nothing? Even so, my increasing reliance upon daily to-do lists is becoming a bit
disconcerting...
From Thursday to yesterday, I had a test in all four of my classes that have tests.
I will post a school update when all of those have been returned.
Also, I am really, really static-y. I'm at the library and, every time I get up to
go to the laptop shelves, I get shocked on the metal case. And, every time I sit
back down in the computer chair, I get shocked on my laptop. Ahhhhhghghhrhrghghgh.
chunk of time I need to kill.
Remember how I said Lord of the Flies was next on my reading list? I mistakenly got
The Grapes of Wrath from the library and am currently working on reading that. I'm
taking my time because it's not the easiest read, but I like it so far. Yes, even the
four chapters about the turtle crossing the road. There was a severe disconnect for
quite some time because I had looked up the synopsis of Lord of the Flies, expecting
to read that next and, for quite some time, while I was reading the chapters about
the turtle and the dust storms, I kept wondering when the characters would end up on
a remote island and have to establish their own government. Heh. Good old disconnect.
I also got Neuromancer from the library and it is sitting on my pile for when I
finish The Grapes of Wrath. My goal is to finish The Grapes of Wrath by my birthday.
Oh, hey! My birthday's coming up! Should I be excited? I'm not. I'm usually not a
particularly excitable person, actually. And, even I were a more excitable person,
it's only number twenty. The only significant landmark associated with twenty is the
cessation of the teenage age and the accomplishment of being one more year closer to
legal freedom. Haha, legal freedom. Anyway. Birthday? No big deal. I only noticed it
was coming up because I was working at the library and the due date for some items
happened to be the date of my birthday.
There was an article in the most recent edition of the college newspaper that started
out by saying "I hate Valentine's Day!" The author went on to simply say that the
day always reminds him of his loneliness. The rest of the article had nothing to do
with Valentine's Day OR his loneliness.
I will be having an interview sometime next week for my application to be an RA next
year and, with a fear of high expectations in mind, I AM SO EXCITED.
Also, today I met with a Sociology professor to get general advice about grad school.
I had arrived early and was waiting in the lounge when she arrived and asked me if
she was late. She made no move to look at a watch, so I'm guessing she doesn't wear
one. Neither do I, but my phone is my timekeeper. I started not wearing a watch a
few years ago for one of my classes as an experiment in sacrifice and relaxation.
The experiment required me to not wear a watch for a full week. I haven't worn one
since - with the exception of during my trip to Australia. And then I became more
and more attached to my phone. And then I entered a world where the structure is
mandated by time and anxiety has been conditioned with being late. So, essentially,
the world I'm in doesn't allow a timeless freedom and that's a shame because I
really do enjoy it. But, no, I'm held to my class schedule, my work schedule, my
activity schedule, the dining schedule, and so on. I've known people on both sides
of the continuum in regards to responding to this structure. I know the kind who
rebel completely and lose almost all sense of time. I know the kind who embrace the
overwhelming nature of structure with multiple calendars or other methods of
keeping a schedule. I'm suppose I'm close to being balanced and moderate, but I
would prefer to be more toward the timeless side. In my current environment, the
best way to make that happen would be to schedule all classes in one big chunk each
day. That way, I could keep going until I was done and wouldn't have to look at the
time, except to know when to start.
Speaking of being overwhelmed, I feel that I've become even more OCD since the
beginning of this semester. For nearly a week, almost every day, I've been writing
myself a daily to-do list. To me, this seems excessive. Am I busier? Have I too much
to do? No, just the opposite. I have things to do, obviously, but I have just little
enough that suppose I fear it would be easy to sit and do nothing. So, instead,
I've been writing myself daily to-do lists that I commit myself to completing before
I allow myself to sit and do nothing. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no. This sounds like
workaholicism to me (which, apparently, I've never posted about?). Not allowing one's
self to enjoy nothingness until everything is completed? I do believe that was my
brother and my working definition of workaholicism... Oh dear, dear, dear. But it
can't be! I've been doing SO much nothing! I watched the entire first season of a
new tv show over the past two days! I'm doing nothing right now! I'm going to do
nothing tonight! Perhaps this workaholicism would only be a severe problem if I had
much more to do and thus never scheduled time for myself to do nothing. Maybe it's
okay so long as I don't get to the point where I would need to schedule time to do
nothing? Even so, my increasing reliance upon daily to-do lists is becoming a bit
disconcerting...
From Thursday to yesterday, I had a test in all four of my classes that have tests.
I will post a school update when all of those have been returned.
Also, I am really, really static-y. I'm at the library and, every time I get up to
go to the laptop shelves, I get shocked on the metal case. And, every time I sit
back down in the computer chair, I get shocked on my laptop. Ahhhhhghghhrhrghghgh.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
