It has recently come to my attention that quite a few people think that life would
be better, easier, and what have you without emotions. This topic is particularly
relevant because the topic of my Biological Psychology course for the past week has
been that of emotions (mechanisms, processes, functions, etc).
In the past week, I've heard people say things like "Life would be easier with no
emotions," "Things would be less complicated without emotions," and "If only I did
not have feelings."
I've also noticed that such comments nearly always come from men. Thanks, society,
for socializing males to deny the existence and usefulness of emotions and females
to view emotions as inevitable and reliable. Everybody's wrong.
On a side note, Psychology is to conditioning as Sociology is to socializing.
One of the questions on my Bio Psych take-home final includes a prompt to explain
the value of emotions in decision-making. I will probably post my essay response
here once I complete my exam, but that is not due until Wednesday, so...
So, why are emotions important? Are we better off with or without them? On one
hand, you have the view described by the quoted sentiments above that says that
emotions complicate everything, whether decision-making, relationships, problem-
solving, or something else. On the other hand, you have the view that says that
emotions give meaning, value, and purpose to experiences, relationships, and
situations.
Emotions contribute to a sense of worth, which allows self-support. Without emotions,
our accomplishments and relationships would mean little, if anything at all. Instead,
emotions allow us to explain the motivation behind our actions.
Can we explain the motivation behind our actions without incorporating emotion?
Probably, yes, but such motivation will be a robotic series of steps and will not
include true inherent value.
Emotions give us the means to love and be loved. Without emotions, our relationships
become overly-intellectualized and therefore robotic. Instead, emotions foster
commitment to family and non-family connections.
Can we do that without emotions? Maybe. Maybe we can rationalize why we should be
committed to our family without emotions, by giving reasons like financial support
and efficient living (i.e., it's cheaper to cook for four people than for one).
But that seems to take the fun and adventure out of it. In regards to non-family
connections, I would argue that emotionless relationships of any kind do not work.
Even in a non-romantic relationship that is focused on remaining casual instead of
working toward a forever future? I would argue yes. Relationships devoid of all
emotion simply are not enjoyable after a relatively short period of time.
Emotions give us the means to have fun and describe fun. Fun, enjoyment, and
adventure are all emotions. Without emotions, such experiences would lack value
and importance. Instead, emotions help us share in such enjoyable experiences.
Can we have fun without emotions? Probably not. Even if you enjoy something on a
purely intellectual level, that enjoyment is an emotion.
However, emotions are not an all or nothing topic. Both intellect and emotions are
fallible. It is absolutely crucial to realize that, while interpersonal relationships
and emotions are certainly important, people are fallible. Because of this, we must
never fully rely on others and the emotions they inspire in us to satisfy our worth.
And this ties back into all the times I've ever talked about inherent worth and value.
People and relationships with them are absolutely important, as are emotions. But
these are still external stimuli. A majority of the time, emotions are influenced
more by internal states, such as physical exhaustion or hormones. When this happens,
people look for an external source on which to blame their negative emotions, even
though they simply need a nap. Parallel to this is the importance of inherent worth
and value. In my opinion, these are internal states and are therefore generally
more reliable and predictable than external situations. For instance, you know,
acting in such a way that reflects one's core values? Yeah, that sounds right.
Emotions absolutely must be treated with balance and moderation. It is usually
emotions that derail our success, but it is emotions that makes our success worth
something. Whether positive or negative, there are inevitably times when emotions
will interfere. Such times call for a greater focus on intellect. However, even
though there are times emotions should be de-emphasized, this does not mean that
emotions should be entirely eliminated.
Further, I argue that it is impossible for emotions to be entirely eliminated.
However, people still try because they believe that a life devoid of emotions will
be easier, less complicated, and so on. But it can't happen. Emotions are largely
autonomic and are frequently unconscious to a certain extent.
But people still try. They try and they try to suppress their emotions and what
happens? Well, there are a few situations we can hypothesize about. Maybe there
comes a point when all of their repressed and denied emotions become too much to
control and they end up exploding, which may result in increased solitude or
unprovoked aggression.
Or maybe there comes a point when they have gotten so good at suppressing their
emotions that they no longer know how to feel. Or maybe they never gave themselves
an opportunity to learn how to deal with stress.
In sum, if you ignore your emotions, you probably won't know how to effectively
handle them and use them for your benefit (contentedness, satisfaction, etc) because
you never will have allowed yourself to experience any emotions.
Emotions also cause a great deal of interpersonal problems if a person expects
everyone around him or her to be equal in regards to emotions, expression, feelings,
and mood.
Emotions = state of physiological arousal (plus outward expression and subjective feelings)
Emotional expression = outward signs of feelings
Emotional feelings = private emotional experience
Mood = low-intensity, long-lasting emotional state (baseline)
It is also unfair and dishonesty to deny your emotional feelings when they are
obvious to others through your emotional expression.
In regards to the processes of emotion...
emotional stimulus
->
cognitive appraisal (based on life experiences)
->
physical arousal (changes in heart rate, breathing rate)
behavioral response (action)
emotional expression
emotional feeling
->
additional cognitive appraisal that can reinforce or negate the previous four items
Additionally, physical arousal can increase behavioral response, which can increase
emotional expression, which can increase emotional feeling.
I hope I expressed my thoughts effectively.
We also talked about the importance of emotional intelligence, which is the ability
to be able to read people and intuit what they are feeling, even if they are not
explicitly expressing it. Emotional expression tends to become more subtle with age.
I would argue that emotional intelligence also includes the ability to accurately
estimate situations and the emotions involved in order to effectively handle other
people, relationships, decisions, problems, and so on.
Check out Daniel Goleman.
Again, I hope I expressed my thoughts effectively. I hope I effectively expressed my thoughts.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
No Sleep
So, apparently I don't sleep anymore. I mean, I'll finally admit that occasionally
not needing sleep would be really convenient, so that I could just finish that
assignment or paint again or etc.
Last night was the latest I've stayed up this entire semester. 4am. After a phone
conversation with my best friend that lasted for five and a half hours. <3 And I
passed out at 4am and had a nap today and I feel fine. Thanks, college, for
eliminating my sleep schedule! And I had been doing so well with maintaining a
regular sleep schedule. Oh well. This is more fun and I only have one more week
of needing to not be sick.
On Sunday night, after I had finished what work I had wanted to do, instead of
doing more work or going to bed, I stayed up so that I could clean my room and
paint. I painted, you guys. It was so good.
Anyways, lots of little topics to write about, so let's get to it.
From last Tuesday until this past Monday afternoon, with the exception of making
time to paint, I had been pretty grumpy. I told a classmate on Monday that I had
had a crappy week and he responded by saying "It's only Monday!" and I corrected
myself by saying that I had had a crappy since-Tuesday.
I attributed this slump to a few things. Primarily, that my to-do list had managed
to overtake my want-to-do list, although I somewhat combated this with making
time to paint. Also, that the general morale of the campus seems to have decreased,
probably due to the fact that all the procrastinating, the overworked, and the
median students are experiencing the last-minute crunch of all the work they have
to complete. So, my to-do list was making me grumpy and the lowered morale of
campus served as an excuse for me to remain grumpy. Grumpiness loves company, for sure.
And then Monday afternoon happened. What happened Monday afternoon? Well, first
and foremost, I was able to talk it out and explain to myself that the lowered
morale of campus was reinforcing my grumpiness. And that I MUST make time to be
able to incorporate my want-to-do list with my to-do list. Thus why I am awake
and writing right now instead of going to sleep. Sure, there's a balance, but for
the past few weeks, I had been getting my to-do lists done and getting enough
sleep, which resulted in a severe neglect of my want-to-do list.
Even though I was maintaining my health by getting enough sleep and was maintaining
my academic success by getting my work done, my emotional/mental/spiritual health
had been severely neglected over the past few weeks. Self-care! No burnout!
Also on Monday afternoon, I explained to myself what beneficial lesson could be
learned from the recent past. That is, what positive purpose does the recent past
serve? I learned that I truly am capable of making genuine and empathetic connections
with others, but that these genuine and empathetic connections do not have to result
in my being exploited. And should not. But even so, that I can make connections
without being exploited and that I do not have to be exploited in order to make
connections. Good thing my one reader that was bothered by my repetitiveness decided
to no longer be my friend. Hah.
Also on Monday afternoon, THIS LESSON WAS EXEMPLIFIED AND IT WAS RIDICULOUS.
Long story short, my piano lesson was amazing and my piano teacher is an incredible
individual. He asked me for counseling-related advice in regards to stress relief
techniques and responded by saying that he always feels better after our chats.
I think I made his day.
And then! Monday evening, THIS LESS WAS EXEMPLIFIED AGAIN. While I was working at
the library, after I was minimally productive, I decided to do some more self-care
through origami. First of all, lots of students apologized for interrupting my
origami-related concentration, which made me laugh. Second of all, my coworker
commented that he had an origami collection from a previous student, which he then
retrieved from his desk to show me. After we talked about origami, I offered him
the dish I had just completed making to him to add to his collection.
I think I made his day, too.
And both of them certainly made my day.
During Monday afternoon and evening, as I walked across campus, I inhaled deeply
with the realization that I was having a really good day. Simultaneously, this
thought went through my head: "I am having a really good day and I don't want to
talk about it." Well, that seems odd. I thought so, too, at first. Until just
recently when I was writing about the dampened morale and remembered that this
thought had crossed my mind. How does it make sense? It makes sense in that I did
not want to talk about it because my having a really good day was something that was
extremely precious because it had not happened in such a long time. And I did not
want to talk about it because those who would hear would have been the same people
who had previously shared in my grumpiness. But I am talking about it now because
I had another really good day today and am feeling more confident in my ability to
not let these really good days slip away, regardless of how low the morale of
campus may be. Similarly, I also feel more confident in my autonomy in regards to
the fact that I feel like I know how to maintain these really good days.
We'll see how this plays out, because tomorrow is going to be busy and very well
may be ridiculous.
In contrast, also today, my confidence as a tutor was somewhat shaken because I was
repeatedly reminded of the fact that I had not tutored recently. Why did no one
want to ask me? Did I scare them away somehow? Did I fail one time and everyone
knew? I don't know. But it didn't really matter because tutoring is simply income
that is doubly supplementary and I have since scheduled a tutoring meeting with a
student.
Autonomy feels really, really good. I took another recent matter into my own hands
and went straight to the top. And, although the issue could not be remedied, some
appropriate consequences have been served and the afflicted group has gained more
authority, autonomy, status, and what have you.
Lastly, I wanted to add this to my honors project paper somehow, but it did not
really fit in. I read sections of the book, Interaction Ritual Chains, by Collins
and in it he explains how a conversation between two people reflects greater
solidarity (vis-a-vis Durkheim) when their breathing becomes synchronized and
their rhythm becomes extremely matched because each person is able to anticipate
what the other is saying, will say, and how. I read this section for my honors
project about the group dynamics of Jazz Band and I wish it would have fit in
somewhere because it relates so well to that most precise moment of synchronized
breathing that occurs before each piece. Right before the downbeat of measure one,
there is a cohesive intake breath and you can FEEL it and it is my favorite.
I think this was the fastest blog post I have ever written. I still want to paint,
but I will actually go to sleep, but only because tomorrow is so busy. I should have
time to paint between my crammed schedule, maybe, depending on how I eat lunch.
Anyway. Out.
not needing sleep would be really convenient, so that I could just finish that
assignment or paint again or etc.
Last night was the latest I've stayed up this entire semester. 4am. After a phone
conversation with my best friend that lasted for five and a half hours. <3 And I
passed out at 4am and had a nap today and I feel fine. Thanks, college, for
eliminating my sleep schedule! And I had been doing so well with maintaining a
regular sleep schedule. Oh well. This is more fun and I only have one more week
of needing to not be sick.
On Sunday night, after I had finished what work I had wanted to do, instead of
doing more work or going to bed, I stayed up so that I could clean my room and
paint. I painted, you guys. It was so good.
Anyways, lots of little topics to write about, so let's get to it.
From last Tuesday until this past Monday afternoon, with the exception of making
time to paint, I had been pretty grumpy. I told a classmate on Monday that I had
had a crappy week and he responded by saying "It's only Monday!" and I corrected
myself by saying that I had had a crappy since-Tuesday.
I attributed this slump to a few things. Primarily, that my to-do list had managed
to overtake my want-to-do list, although I somewhat combated this with making
time to paint. Also, that the general morale of the campus seems to have decreased,
probably due to the fact that all the procrastinating, the overworked, and the
median students are experiencing the last-minute crunch of all the work they have
to complete. So, my to-do list was making me grumpy and the lowered morale of
campus served as an excuse for me to remain grumpy. Grumpiness loves company, for sure.
And then Monday afternoon happened. What happened Monday afternoon? Well, first
and foremost, I was able to talk it out and explain to myself that the lowered
morale of campus was reinforcing my grumpiness. And that I MUST make time to be
able to incorporate my want-to-do list with my to-do list. Thus why I am awake
and writing right now instead of going to sleep. Sure, there's a balance, but for
the past few weeks, I had been getting my to-do lists done and getting enough
sleep, which resulted in a severe neglect of my want-to-do list.
Even though I was maintaining my health by getting enough sleep and was maintaining
my academic success by getting my work done, my emotional/mental/spiritual health
had been severely neglected over the past few weeks. Self-care! No burnout!
Also on Monday afternoon, I explained to myself what beneficial lesson could be
learned from the recent past. That is, what positive purpose does the recent past
serve? I learned that I truly am capable of making genuine and empathetic connections
with others, but that these genuine and empathetic connections do not have to result
in my being exploited. And should not. But even so, that I can make connections
without being exploited and that I do not have to be exploited in order to make
connections. Good thing my one reader that was bothered by my repetitiveness decided
to no longer be my friend. Hah.
Also on Monday afternoon, THIS LESSON WAS EXEMPLIFIED AND IT WAS RIDICULOUS.
Long story short, my piano lesson was amazing and my piano teacher is an incredible
individual. He asked me for counseling-related advice in regards to stress relief
techniques and responded by saying that he always feels better after our chats.
I think I made his day.
And then! Monday evening, THIS LESS WAS EXEMPLIFIED AGAIN. While I was working at
the library, after I was minimally productive, I decided to do some more self-care
through origami. First of all, lots of students apologized for interrupting my
origami-related concentration, which made me laugh. Second of all, my coworker
commented that he had an origami collection from a previous student, which he then
retrieved from his desk to show me. After we talked about origami, I offered him
the dish I had just completed making to him to add to his collection.
I think I made his day, too.
And both of them certainly made my day.
During Monday afternoon and evening, as I walked across campus, I inhaled deeply
with the realization that I was having a really good day. Simultaneously, this
thought went through my head: "I am having a really good day and I don't want to
talk about it." Well, that seems odd. I thought so, too, at first. Until just
recently when I was writing about the dampened morale and remembered that this
thought had crossed my mind. How does it make sense? It makes sense in that I did
not want to talk about it because my having a really good day was something that was
extremely precious because it had not happened in such a long time. And I did not
want to talk about it because those who would hear would have been the same people
who had previously shared in my grumpiness. But I am talking about it now because
I had another really good day today and am feeling more confident in my ability to
not let these really good days slip away, regardless of how low the morale of
campus may be. Similarly, I also feel more confident in my autonomy in regards to
the fact that I feel like I know how to maintain these really good days.
We'll see how this plays out, because tomorrow is going to be busy and very well
may be ridiculous.
In contrast, also today, my confidence as a tutor was somewhat shaken because I was
repeatedly reminded of the fact that I had not tutored recently. Why did no one
want to ask me? Did I scare them away somehow? Did I fail one time and everyone
knew? I don't know. But it didn't really matter because tutoring is simply income
that is doubly supplementary and I have since scheduled a tutoring meeting with a
student.
Autonomy feels really, really good. I took another recent matter into my own hands
and went straight to the top. And, although the issue could not be remedied, some
appropriate consequences have been served and the afflicted group has gained more
authority, autonomy, status, and what have you.
Lastly, I wanted to add this to my honors project paper somehow, but it did not
really fit in. I read sections of the book, Interaction Ritual Chains, by Collins
and in it he explains how a conversation between two people reflects greater
solidarity (vis-a-vis Durkheim) when their breathing becomes synchronized and
their rhythm becomes extremely matched because each person is able to anticipate
what the other is saying, will say, and how. I read this section for my honors
project about the group dynamics of Jazz Band and I wish it would have fit in
somewhere because it relates so well to that most precise moment of synchronized
breathing that occurs before each piece. Right before the downbeat of measure one,
there is a cohesive intake breath and you can FEEL it and it is my favorite.
I think this was the fastest blog post I have ever written. I still want to paint,
but I will actually go to sleep, but only because tomorrow is so busy. I should have
time to paint between my crammed schedule, maybe, depending on how I eat lunch.
Anyway. Out.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Procrastination
So, instead of reading for tomorrow or working on my massive Lit Review, I'm going
to procrastinate a bit because I have not yet found productive town. Speaking of
Lit Review, let's talk about this.
First of all, the literature that is reviewed within a Lit Review is referred to as
"scholarly articles," not "Lit Review." Really.
Second of all, this assignment was originally due December 2. It has since been pushed
back to December 9, which is completely fine with me, although I am absolutely working
ahead on it so that I can do my other paper that is also due December 9. So, no big
deal. Except for the big deal fact that a classmate said that the professor "is going
to grade it lightly because no one knows what they're doing." Maybe that's not the
students' faults. Maybe. Maybe it's not entirely the fault of the students.
(So I'm absolutely going to turn mine in early - my goal is Monday - so that the
professor knows that SOME students know what they're doing.)
Third of all, I've said this before, but the dumb thing is only worth 100 points,
same as the ridiculously unreliable tests. So, whatever. I've put way more than
100 points-worth of work into it.
Urg, this class.
Anyway, I have kind of forgotten what I cam here to say. I do remember that I want
to add a criterion to my criteria list. The most important criterion to me, be it
somewhat superficial, is that I want to be able to truly be myself in my car when
I am driving with the windows down and the music loud and I am singing my heart out.
This behavior has previously been described as un-ladylike and I will not have any
of that. Why do you think I really dislike driving with passengers? Unless said
passenger is super music-savvy or is super fun-to-talk-to. (Not that all other
possible passengers are not music-savvy or fun-to-talk-to... I just like the freedom
of driving alone.) So the highest criterion is that, someday, driving not-alone
could feel as free as driving alone. And that sounds selfish, but that's not how
I mean it. I don't want it to feel as free as driving alone in the sense that I
want to be able to deny the fact that I am driving not-alone or ignore my passenger,
but I want it to feel as free as driving alone in the sense that said passenger will
truly enjoy my total enrapture in music and driving and windows-down fresh air.
And that is what would be genuinely liberating.
So yeah, all of those other criteria are important, too, but what I really want is
for you to let me sing when and how I want when I am driving. And that feels like
idealism.
In a similar strain, I LOVE having my friends back.
Okay, I GUESS I'll do some schoolwork. Where are you, productive town?
I had to tell some new people today and that was weird.
to procrastinate a bit because I have not yet found productive town. Speaking of
Lit Review, let's talk about this.
First of all, the literature that is reviewed within a Lit Review is referred to as
"scholarly articles," not "Lit Review." Really.
Second of all, this assignment was originally due December 2. It has since been pushed
back to December 9, which is completely fine with me, although I am absolutely working
ahead on it so that I can do my other paper that is also due December 9. So, no big
deal. Except for the big deal fact that a classmate said that the professor "is going
to grade it lightly because no one knows what they're doing." Maybe that's not the
students' faults. Maybe. Maybe it's not entirely the fault of the students.
(So I'm absolutely going to turn mine in early - my goal is Monday - so that the
professor knows that SOME students know what they're doing.)
Third of all, I've said this before, but the dumb thing is only worth 100 points,
same as the ridiculously unreliable tests. So, whatever. I've put way more than
100 points-worth of work into it.
Urg, this class.
Anyway, I have kind of forgotten what I cam here to say. I do remember that I want
to add a criterion to my criteria list. The most important criterion to me, be it
somewhat superficial, is that I want to be able to truly be myself in my car when
I am driving with the windows down and the music loud and I am singing my heart out.
This behavior has previously been described as un-ladylike and I will not have any
of that. Why do you think I really dislike driving with passengers? Unless said
passenger is super music-savvy or is super fun-to-talk-to. (Not that all other
possible passengers are not music-savvy or fun-to-talk-to... I just like the freedom
of driving alone.) So the highest criterion is that, someday, driving not-alone
could feel as free as driving alone. And that sounds selfish, but that's not how
I mean it. I don't want it to feel as free as driving alone in the sense that I
want to be able to deny the fact that I am driving not-alone or ignore my passenger,
but I want it to feel as free as driving alone in the sense that said passenger will
truly enjoy my total enrapture in music and driving and windows-down fresh air.
And that is what would be genuinely liberating.
So yeah, all of those other criteria are important, too, but what I really want is
for you to let me sing when and how I want when I am driving. And that feels like
idealism.
In a similar strain, I LOVE having my friends back.
Okay, I GUESS I'll do some schoolwork. Where are you, productive town?
I had to tell some new people today and that was weird.
Monday, November 21, 2011
"Only God Can Judge Me"
So, I just read my most recent post and was genuinely amused at how much of a word
nerd I am. Sufficiently. Suffice. Awesome. I'm awesome. I am some worthy of awe.
Word nerd!
In other news, I have a somewhat official criteria list. This criteria list has the
very important caveat of not being concrete or all-inclusive or exclusive or so on.
Let me have my friends, don't be damaged or insecure, don't exploit my compassion,
and don't demand that I rescue you. Oh, and don't make me not cut my hair.
I think having friends, not being insecure, and not exploiting my compassion are the
most important. Not exploiting my compassion is creeping to the top of the list, but
all three of these are fairly close in importance.
So, before I get to the real topic of this post, I'm going to re-update about school.
SCHOOL
Biological Psychology.
I have been tutoring my classmate and I've really grown to like this course, as well
as the professor, even if I don't fully agree with his teaching methods. But he'll
read about that on his course evaluation from me. Haha. My two fellow group members
and I just completed our neurological behavior study with mice, where we tested the
effect of alcohol upon sociability in mice. We got mice drunk, you guys. We haven't
analyzed our data yet, so no results. Assignments left in this course are the results
and discussion sections of my paper about this experiment and the final exam.
Criminology.
Assuming that my projected test grade analysis accurately predicts my grade on the
final - which I am nearly certain it does - I only need a 60% on my project proposal
paper to maintain an A overall. The girl who constantly talked during class (and
also failed the first test) has since moved where she sits and no longer talks to
her classmate. She also did not fail the second test. Hmm. Assignments left in this
course are the project proposal paper and the final exam.
Memory and Cognition.
After scoring a 103% on the first test, I scored an 87% on the second test. What?
I would think that a professor who also teaches Statistics would be able to develop
a more reliable measure of learning. She'll read about that on her course evaluation
from me, but with less attitude. And, although I know my current percentage grade
in the course, I am uncertain of what proportion of the points remain for the
semester, so I have no way to calculate what I need on my literature review and
final exam. I am also upset that the literature review is only worth as much as a
single test, even though I am spending disproportionately more time on that.
Assignments left in this course are the literature review and the final exam.
Family.
Eh. This has turned out to be an interesting course, but not really one of my
favorites. I'm not really sure why. I don't really have much to say about it, which
I think is because I feel somewhat uninterested by the course at this point in time.
We just finished reading the book, Longing and Belonging, which I didn't really like,
so maybe that's why. Assignments left in this course are a paper (due Nov 29) and
the final exam (in-class essay).
Counseling.
Hooray for night classes! No seriously. Really, hooray. Over the course of the
semester, I have gone from being reassured of my counseling career goal to being
uncertain of my counseling career goal. But that uncertainty is not the fault of
this course, I believe. Assignments left in this course are two quizzes, two journal
entries, an in-class activity, and the final exam.
Jazz Band.
I wonder if I cry over Jazz Band-related issues at least once each semester. Hm.
Last semester it was because Dr. Weir was leaving, the semester before that may have
been because of graduated members who were no longer present, the semester before
that may have been...?, and the semester before that would have been sheer newness
and crazy girl drummer. This semester it was outside stress and an improvisation
piano solo. But Dr. Taylor came to the rescue and wrote one for me, so we'll see
how it sounds and if/how I want to adapt it at rehearsal tomorrow. I miss Dr. Weir
and all of the members who have left since Spring 2010. Concert on Dec 2. Eek!
Honors Project.
The draft of my paper has been completed! Saturday night I finished! I was going to
go to an on-campus concert Saturday night, but I was so close to being finished that
I buckled down and finished and went to the concert on Sunday afternoon. Hooray!
My diagrams have been drawn and all pertinent information that was previously missing
has been added to the paper. All that's left is to revise, check ASA formatting, and
revise again. Advisor meeting tomorrow morning.
Piano.
Going fairly well, although I've only completed two pieces this semester, which I
believe is the least ever. Starting on the first movement of Beethoven's Pathetique
Sonata, after having learned the second movement last semester and the third movement
this semester. I'm pretty excited to (eventually) have learned a complete sonata.
Library Work and Tutoring.
Library work is always my favorite. People-watching, people-visiting, and getting
work done, plus getting paid? What could be better? Tutoring is pretty cool, too.
Methods tutoring has tapered off, but will probably pick back up before finals week
and BioPsych tutoring helps me and is fun. Yay! Plus money! Yayyy!
PDP and Convos.
After receiving approval from my previous PDP advisor, I am not planning to being
my PDP paper until Christmas break, although I imagine I will do some preliminary
planning and writing during finals week, since that is always my least busy week
of every semester. Knock on wood. Convos are completed and, by a miscalculation, I
attended one too many, as compared to my twice too many my first semester. Hehe,
oh, priorities, how silly you are as you shift and change.
ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME
Fyi, I don't reach my true point until later on in this section. Sorry I buried it.
See paragraph four if you're lazy. (The next paragraph counts as paragraph one.)
Okay, maybe. But not really. I really do disagree with this sentiment, even though
it gets to be a really touchy topic with other Christians, as the general philosophy
is that a person cannot judge another person because all people are fallible. Okay,
so I agree with the statement about everyone being fallible, but I do not agree with
the argument that this negates the utility of "judging." I say that with quote marks
to lessen the negative connotation that the word has received. It's a very heavy
word and I don't mean it in a heavy way, so I hope the quote marks can lighten it
to a point. Ew. Look at all those short words at the beginning of each line. Ew.
Anyway. And I don't mean utility to sound like a utilitarian - also a silly life
philosophy, when adhered to dogmatically - I simply mean that, sometimes, making
a judgment is useful. Making a judgment sounds lighter than judging, no? We make
judgments about situations every day. Is it cold enough for a sweater? Is it dry
enough to wear suede shoes? Am I hungry enough to eat lunch? Am I not hungry enough
to skip lunch? Do I have enough time to run an errand? And so on and so on. And you
say, "But those are examples of judging a SITUATION. Judging a PERSON is different!"
And I agree. Judging a PERSON is not what I condone. Judging a person is a problem
because doing so is too much of a blanket statement. And you, as a regular reader,
should know very well how I feel about blanket statements. (Not well at all.) For
example, a judgment of a PERSON could sound something like this "That person is too
___(fill in the blank)___, I'm not going to talk to/help/etc him/her." This blanket
statement is damaging (and what true blanket statement isn't?) because it removes
any and all possibility that the stater of the statement could change his/her mind.
Sure, it happens sometimes, but it's unlikely. Plus, there's the whole issue of the
complete negativity of such a blanket statement. And who likes negativity? Not I!
So, if judging a PERSON is not what I condone, then what type of judging do I condone?
Well, it goes back to being able to judge a SITUATION. Instead of making a damaging
blanket statement that applies to the whole person, try rewording a judgment so that
it applies only to a specific situation. For example, instead of saying "She's really
mean and I don't like her," say, "She's really mean in class, and I don't like her
in class." When a judgment applies to a SITUATION, rather than the whole PERSON, it
opens up all kinds of possibilities for that person to defy that judgment in other
situations. (This has really happened to me. I think I wrote about it before.) Even
better, judgments can be made even more specific in order to refer to an even more
narrow situation... "She's really mean in class today, I wonder what's wrong."
With all of this said, it is not an easy practice to instill, but hopefully you
have noticed that simply shifting the focus of a judgment away from the person and
onto the situation makes the judgment feel entirely different. A person-directed
judgment is extremely damning and that's what really makes people (myself including)
uncomfortable. A situation-directed judgment is not damning because it has built-in
caveats. (And who doesn't like a good serving of caveat?)
But anyway. My REAL point has to do with the sentiment, "Only God can judge me."
Okay, maybe. And, according to my above argument, yes. I cannot judge YOU. I can
judge* how you act in a certain situation on a certain day under certain circumstances,
but I cannot judge YOU as a WHOLE PERSON.
HOWEVER.
The fact that "only God can judge [you]" does not relieve you of your responsibility
to behave as a sane and upstanding individual. This sentiment does not absolve you
of your basic human responsibility to not behave as a donkey might behave. Really.
This sentiment does not remove all possible consequences from you or your future.
Because, even if I can't judge YOU (and I won't judge you as a whole person), the
law, the system, the federal government, the IRS, or someone will. Eventually, so
long as they get their bureaucratic act together. And, even if not? As a believer
in eternity, you will eventually meet the one God you claim is the only being that
can judge you. And, to reiterate what I really mean, just because you claim that
"only God can judge [you]," that does NOT mean that you have no obligation to judge
yourself. Where is conscience and remorse? Have you none?
* I feel it necessary to explain what I mean when I use "judge" as a verb, as in
"judge how you act in a certain situation on a certain day under certain circumstances."
As a word nerd, and one who is heavily influenced by connotations, using "judge" as
a verb does make me uncomfortable because I recognize that it has an extremely heavy
and negative connotation. When I used "to judge," I feel that most first reactions
will picture a typical holier-than-thou attitude. And that is not at all what I mean.
"To judge," in my world, is not snooty, arrogant, or cocky. "To judge" simply means
to form an opinion, to decide upon critically, to conclude about, or to assess.
(Thanks, dictionary.reference.com!) And that's what I mean. None of this nose-in-the-
air nonsense that give judgment a bad reputation. Think of all the ways that "judge"
or "judgment" can be used in a positive manner! I would guess that the only form
of "judge" that I would reserve for negative instances would be "judgmental."
And, for your additional reading pleasure... Is it Bad Rap or Bad Wrap?
I decided to use neither, thus bad reputation in the above paragraph.
And, in closing, my Counseling textbook said something cool in the chapter I had to
read for tomorrow. I can't remember exactly what it said, but it said that avoiding
responsibility diminishes a person's power and his or her power to change the self
or the situation. And I like that a lot. I like that a lot more than the victim
stance that everyone around me expects me to take. Sure, it will never make sense,
never ever, and while taking absolute responsibility for it would absolutely damage
my self-esteem beyond repair, I am determined to find the happy medium. Balance and
moderation. Responsibility and POWER. I am a whole person. Apparently my session
today actually did help a lot.
Edit: So I just proofread this after posting it and realized something huge. You guys!
Judgments are like stereotypes! :O Also, I meant to post these lyrics, which I was
reminded of when I said "Not I!"
In an ocean of noise
I first heard your voice
Now who hear among us
Still believes in choice?
Not I!
Ugh, that song is SO GOOD.
nerd I am. Sufficiently. Suffice. Awesome. I'm awesome. I am some worthy of awe.
Word nerd!
In other news, I have a somewhat official criteria list. This criteria list has the
very important caveat of not being concrete or all-inclusive or exclusive or so on.
Let me have my friends, don't be damaged or insecure, don't exploit my compassion,
and don't demand that I rescue you. Oh, and don't make me not cut my hair.
I think having friends, not being insecure, and not exploiting my compassion are the
most important. Not exploiting my compassion is creeping to the top of the list, but
all three of these are fairly close in importance.
So, before I get to the real topic of this post, I'm going to re-update about school.
SCHOOL
Biological Psychology.
I have been tutoring my classmate and I've really grown to like this course, as well
as the professor, even if I don't fully agree with his teaching methods. But he'll
read about that on his course evaluation from me. Haha. My two fellow group members
and I just completed our neurological behavior study with mice, where we tested the
effect of alcohol upon sociability in mice. We got mice drunk, you guys. We haven't
analyzed our data yet, so no results. Assignments left in this course are the results
and discussion sections of my paper about this experiment and the final exam.
Criminology.
Assuming that my projected test grade analysis accurately predicts my grade on the
final - which I am nearly certain it does - I only need a 60% on my project proposal
paper to maintain an A overall. The girl who constantly talked during class (and
also failed the first test) has since moved where she sits and no longer talks to
her classmate. She also did not fail the second test. Hmm. Assignments left in this
course are the project proposal paper and the final exam.
Memory and Cognition.
After scoring a 103% on the first test, I scored an 87% on the second test. What?
I would think that a professor who also teaches Statistics would be able to develop
a more reliable measure of learning. She'll read about that on her course evaluation
from me, but with less attitude. And, although I know my current percentage grade
in the course, I am uncertain of what proportion of the points remain for the
semester, so I have no way to calculate what I need on my literature review and
final exam. I am also upset that the literature review is only worth as much as a
single test, even though I am spending disproportionately more time on that.
Assignments left in this course are the literature review and the final exam.
Family.
Eh. This has turned out to be an interesting course, but not really one of my
favorites. I'm not really sure why. I don't really have much to say about it, which
I think is because I feel somewhat uninterested by the course at this point in time.
We just finished reading the book, Longing and Belonging, which I didn't really like,
so maybe that's why. Assignments left in this course are a paper (due Nov 29) and
the final exam (in-class essay).
Counseling.
Hooray for night classes! No seriously. Really, hooray. Over the course of the
semester, I have gone from being reassured of my counseling career goal to being
uncertain of my counseling career goal. But that uncertainty is not the fault of
this course, I believe. Assignments left in this course are two quizzes, two journal
entries, an in-class activity, and the final exam.
Jazz Band.
I wonder if I cry over Jazz Band-related issues at least once each semester. Hm.
Last semester it was because Dr. Weir was leaving, the semester before that may have
been because of graduated members who were no longer present, the semester before
that may have been...?, and the semester before that would have been sheer newness
and crazy girl drummer. This semester it was outside stress and an improvisation
piano solo. But Dr. Taylor came to the rescue and wrote one for me, so we'll see
how it sounds and if/how I want to adapt it at rehearsal tomorrow. I miss Dr. Weir
and all of the members who have left since Spring 2010. Concert on Dec 2. Eek!
Honors Project.
The draft of my paper has been completed! Saturday night I finished! I was going to
go to an on-campus concert Saturday night, but I was so close to being finished that
I buckled down and finished and went to the concert on Sunday afternoon. Hooray!
My diagrams have been drawn and all pertinent information that was previously missing
has been added to the paper. All that's left is to revise, check ASA formatting, and
revise again. Advisor meeting tomorrow morning.
Piano.
Going fairly well, although I've only completed two pieces this semester, which I
believe is the least ever. Starting on the first movement of Beethoven's Pathetique
Sonata, after having learned the second movement last semester and the third movement
this semester. I'm pretty excited to (eventually) have learned a complete sonata.
Library Work and Tutoring.
Library work is always my favorite. People-watching, people-visiting, and getting
work done, plus getting paid? What could be better? Tutoring is pretty cool, too.
Methods tutoring has tapered off, but will probably pick back up before finals week
and BioPsych tutoring helps me and is fun. Yay! Plus money! Yayyy!
PDP and Convos.
After receiving approval from my previous PDP advisor, I am not planning to being
my PDP paper until Christmas break, although I imagine I will do some preliminary
planning and writing during finals week, since that is always my least busy week
of every semester. Knock on wood. Convos are completed and, by a miscalculation, I
attended one too many, as compared to my twice too many my first semester. Hehe,
oh, priorities, how silly you are as you shift and change.
ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME
Fyi, I don't reach my true point until later on in this section. Sorry I buried it.
See paragraph four if you're lazy. (The next paragraph counts as paragraph one.)
Okay, maybe. But not really. I really do disagree with this sentiment, even though
it gets to be a really touchy topic with other Christians, as the general philosophy
is that a person cannot judge another person because all people are fallible. Okay,
so I agree with the statement about everyone being fallible, but I do not agree with
the argument that this negates the utility of "judging." I say that with quote marks
to lessen the negative connotation that the word has received. It's a very heavy
word and I don't mean it in a heavy way, so I hope the quote marks can lighten it
to a point. Ew. Look at all those short words at the beginning of each line. Ew.
Anyway. And I don't mean utility to sound like a utilitarian - also a silly life
philosophy, when adhered to dogmatically - I simply mean that, sometimes, making
a judgment is useful. Making a judgment sounds lighter than judging, no? We make
judgments about situations every day. Is it cold enough for a sweater? Is it dry
enough to wear suede shoes? Am I hungry enough to eat lunch? Am I not hungry enough
to skip lunch? Do I have enough time to run an errand? And so on and so on. And you
say, "But those are examples of judging a SITUATION. Judging a PERSON is different!"
And I agree. Judging a PERSON is not what I condone. Judging a person is a problem
because doing so is too much of a blanket statement. And you, as a regular reader,
should know very well how I feel about blanket statements. (Not well at all.) For
example, a judgment of a PERSON could sound something like this "That person is too
___(fill in the blank)___, I'm not going to talk to/help/etc him/her." This blanket
statement is damaging (and what true blanket statement isn't?) because it removes
any and all possibility that the stater of the statement could change his/her mind.
Sure, it happens sometimes, but it's unlikely. Plus, there's the whole issue of the
complete negativity of such a blanket statement. And who likes negativity? Not I!
So, if judging a PERSON is not what I condone, then what type of judging do I condone?
Well, it goes back to being able to judge a SITUATION. Instead of making a damaging
blanket statement that applies to the whole person, try rewording a judgment so that
it applies only to a specific situation. For example, instead of saying "She's really
mean and I don't like her," say, "She's really mean in class, and I don't like her
in class." When a judgment applies to a SITUATION, rather than the whole PERSON, it
opens up all kinds of possibilities for that person to defy that judgment in other
situations. (This has really happened to me. I think I wrote about it before.) Even
better, judgments can be made even more specific in order to refer to an even more
narrow situation... "She's really mean in class today, I wonder what's wrong."
With all of this said, it is not an easy practice to instill, but hopefully you
have noticed that simply shifting the focus of a judgment away from the person and
onto the situation makes the judgment feel entirely different. A person-directed
judgment is extremely damning and that's what really makes people (myself including)
uncomfortable. A situation-directed judgment is not damning because it has built-in
caveats. (And who doesn't like a good serving of caveat?)
But anyway. My REAL point has to do with the sentiment, "Only God can judge me."
Okay, maybe. And, according to my above argument, yes. I cannot judge YOU. I can
judge* how you act in a certain situation on a certain day under certain circumstances,
but I cannot judge YOU as a WHOLE PERSON.
HOWEVER.
The fact that "only God can judge [you]" does not relieve you of your responsibility
to behave as a sane and upstanding individual. This sentiment does not absolve you
of your basic human responsibility to not behave as a donkey might behave. Really.
This sentiment does not remove all possible consequences from you or your future.
Because, even if I can't judge YOU (and I won't judge you as a whole person), the
law, the system, the federal government, the IRS, or someone will. Eventually, so
long as they get their bureaucratic act together. And, even if not? As a believer
in eternity, you will eventually meet the one God you claim is the only being that
can judge you. And, to reiterate what I really mean, just because you claim that
"only God can judge [you]," that does NOT mean that you have no obligation to judge
yourself. Where is conscience and remorse? Have you none?
* I feel it necessary to explain what I mean when I use "judge" as a verb, as in
"judge how you act in a certain situation on a certain day under certain circumstances."
As a word nerd, and one who is heavily influenced by connotations, using "judge" as
a verb does make me uncomfortable because I recognize that it has an extremely heavy
and negative connotation. When I used "to judge," I feel that most first reactions
will picture a typical holier-than-thou attitude. And that is not at all what I mean.
"To judge," in my world, is not snooty, arrogant, or cocky. "To judge" simply means
to form an opinion, to decide upon critically, to conclude about, or to assess.
(Thanks, dictionary.reference.com!) And that's what I mean. None of this nose-in-the-
air nonsense that give judgment a bad reputation. Think of all the ways that "judge"
or "judgment" can be used in a positive manner! I would guess that the only form
of "judge" that I would reserve for negative instances would be "judgmental."
And, for your additional reading pleasure... Is it Bad Rap or Bad Wrap?
I decided to use neither, thus bad reputation in the above paragraph.
And, in closing, my Counseling textbook said something cool in the chapter I had to
read for tomorrow. I can't remember exactly what it said, but it said that avoiding
responsibility diminishes a person's power and his or her power to change the self
or the situation. And I like that a lot. I like that a lot more than the victim
stance that everyone around me expects me to take. Sure, it will never make sense,
never ever, and while taking absolute responsibility for it would absolutely damage
my self-esteem beyond repair, I am determined to find the happy medium. Balance and
moderation. Responsibility and POWER. I am a whole person. Apparently my session
today actually did help a lot.
Edit: So I just proofread this after posting it and realized something huge. You guys!
Judgments are like stereotypes! :O Also, I meant to post these lyrics, which I was
reminded of when I said "Not I!"
In an ocean of noise
I first heard your voice
Now who hear among us
Still believes in choice?
Not I!
Ugh, that song is SO GOOD.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Cake & Unicorns, Revisited (and School!)
Reference.
My apologies in advance if this post takes a turn toward depression and cynicism.
Cake & Unicorns, Revisited.
In a previous post, I explained that relationships have a learning curve and that
they are not all cake and unicorns. I suppose I feel this way because, to date, I
have not had a cake and unicorns relationship. And I also feel that a fairly large
part of me would feel naive to gain so much satisfaction from a cake and unicorns
relationship because, to me, cake and unicorns equals superficiality.
And I have had no experience to tell me otherwise, to show me that there is a type
of cake and unicorns that does not equal superficiality, that is not shallow.
First, we were thirteen. That wasn't real.
Then, we were good friends, but his past blocked him from feeling anything real and
I was too impatient to put up with his insecurities.
Then, it worked well, but just didn't go anywhere. We hit a mutual wall.
Then, we just liked to hang out and both understood and agreed there was nothing
long-term and never would be.
And, just now, I am still too temporally close to the experience to put it in words
so sufficiently. Sufficiently. Suffice. Cool.
However, just now, I can say that I feel naive because I made myself believe it was
cake and unicorns (sufficiently) when it definitely was not. He was good at playing
to this.
After the first then, my best friend and I discussed how I did not want to create
a criteria list for future relationships because a relationship cannot be reduced
to a formula of criteria. However, I now know that it is necessary to have a general
idea of what is required and what is desired. Right? This is how we broke it down,
right? Absolutes and preferences? Well, I now have an absolute, among others obvious
to those who are privy to the situation. My absolute? LET ME HAVE MY FRIENDS.
So, cake and unicorns, where do we stand? Not sure.
But let me just say that my greatest fear is that I will remain too damaged for the
future. Or that I will remain too damaged and will thus attract (and settle for) a
similarly damaged man. I also fear that I have been so instilled with a sense of
cynicism that I will forever feel that no future man will meet my expectations.
Exceed, exceed.
As for cake and unicorns? Maybe cake and unicorns don't have to be naive. Maybe
there is the possibility of a relationship so real that it is cake and unicorns
without a naivete. And my hurt heart screams, "No, no, no! That's how you got to
be where you are now! Eliminate all naivete! Be cynical forever!"
And I say, I am rejecting both naivete and cynicism and saying that these things
are unimportant to me right now and that all such things are out of my hands.
I am rejecting both naivete and cynicism in exchange for passivity.
(and School!)
Thanks to the above circumstances, my Senior year has just now started. Also, let me
just say that I am thankful for my small campus because it allows me to have to
explain to less people because most people already know.
Biological Psychology
Bio Psych is probably one of the most difficult courses I've taken, simply because
it is so unrelated to anything I've studied previously. And it's hard work. And it
is the only course during my entire college career (this is technically my fifth
year, I just started during eleventh grade) in which I have gotten a non-A grade.
I actually got a C, you guys! I am more amused than anything. But a C assignment
grade does not mean I will not get an A course grade. Also, I've been recruited to
be a tutor for a classmate. Let's go.
Criminology
Due to a combination of professor, course material, and course format; this course
is cake for me. I was very surprised to learn of particular classmates who failed
the first test. There's not really much else to say about this course, because it's
the same old, same old that I've learned before. I'm not complaining.
Memory and Cognition
Um. Really, that's the extent of my thoughts in regards to this course. No offense,
but it really is a joke. For the first test, I filled out the study guide using only
the professor's PowerPoints and used none of my own notes. The only reason I need
to go to class is for participation activities and the rare graded participation
activities. Joke, joke, joke. And even more of a joke because the test averages were
bi-modal, meaning that most people got an A/B grade or a D/F grade. What.
Sociology of the Family
Awesome possum course. Very similar to Birth and Death in regards to format, so I
am excelling because of that. The readings are interesting and the discussions are
fulfilling. Apparently everyone is fascinated by the topic of cohabitation.
Counseling and Personal Development
I love this course so much that I am not even bothered by the fact that it is a
one-day, 2.5-hour night class. I love courses in this format, thanks to LBC and
HACC. I love this course so much that I am not even bothered by the in-class role-
playing. That's a big deal.
Jazz Band
So far, so good, but weird. First concert was a success and our director said,
"We've done easy music and we've done it well. Now it is time to do more difficult
music." Uh-oh.
Honors Project
So far, so good. I need to check on my project time line to see what I should be
doing now, since I am "officially" done with observation.
Piano
Probably the most neglected part of my education right now. But after I am done
here, I am going to eat lunch and go practice for a long time. Thankfully my teacher
understands my circumstances and allowed me to take care of legal issues during my
lesson time this past Monday. Also, I just learned that he thinks I'm awesome, as in,
one of the few students who works.
Library Work and Tutoring
Library work continues to be my favorite. It is the best way to get work done and
socialize and get paid, all at the same time. Tutoring has officially started this
week and I tutored for one hour over the course of two sessions. I need to email
someone so I can fill out the paperwork to become a Bio Psych tutor.
PDP and Convos
Additional things I can't forget to think about. My PDP paper is going to be
ridiculous.
That's all, I think. Ready and lunch time.
My apologies in advance if this post takes a turn toward depression and cynicism.
Cake & Unicorns, Revisited.
In a previous post, I explained that relationships have a learning curve and that
they are not all cake and unicorns. I suppose I feel this way because, to date, I
have not had a cake and unicorns relationship. And I also feel that a fairly large
part of me would feel naive to gain so much satisfaction from a cake and unicorns
relationship because, to me, cake and unicorns equals superficiality.
And I have had no experience to tell me otherwise, to show me that there is a type
of cake and unicorns that does not equal superficiality, that is not shallow.
First, we were thirteen. That wasn't real.
Then, we were good friends, but his past blocked him from feeling anything real and
I was too impatient to put up with his insecurities.
Then, it worked well, but just didn't go anywhere. We hit a mutual wall.
Then, we just liked to hang out and both understood and agreed there was nothing
long-term and never would be.
And, just now, I am still too temporally close to the experience to put it in words
so sufficiently. Sufficiently. Suffice. Cool.
However, just now, I can say that I feel naive because I made myself believe it was
cake and unicorns (sufficiently) when it definitely was not. He was good at playing
to this.
After the first then, my best friend and I discussed how I did not want to create
a criteria list for future relationships because a relationship cannot be reduced
to a formula of criteria. However, I now know that it is necessary to have a general
idea of what is required and what is desired. Right? This is how we broke it down,
right? Absolutes and preferences? Well, I now have an absolute, among others obvious
to those who are privy to the situation. My absolute? LET ME HAVE MY FRIENDS.
So, cake and unicorns, where do we stand? Not sure.
But let me just say that my greatest fear is that I will remain too damaged for the
future. Or that I will remain too damaged and will thus attract (and settle for) a
similarly damaged man. I also fear that I have been so instilled with a sense of
cynicism that I will forever feel that no future man will meet my expectations.
Exceed, exceed.
As for cake and unicorns? Maybe cake and unicorns don't have to be naive. Maybe
there is the possibility of a relationship so real that it is cake and unicorns
without a naivete. And my hurt heart screams, "No, no, no! That's how you got to
be where you are now! Eliminate all naivete! Be cynical forever!"
And I say, I am rejecting both naivete and cynicism and saying that these things
are unimportant to me right now and that all such things are out of my hands.
I am rejecting both naivete and cynicism in exchange for passivity.
(and School!)
Thanks to the above circumstances, my Senior year has just now started. Also, let me
just say that I am thankful for my small campus because it allows me to have to
explain to less people because most people already know.
Biological Psychology
Bio Psych is probably one of the most difficult courses I've taken, simply because
it is so unrelated to anything I've studied previously. And it's hard work. And it
is the only course during my entire college career (this is technically my fifth
year, I just started during eleventh grade) in which I have gotten a non-A grade.
I actually got a C, you guys! I am more amused than anything. But a C assignment
grade does not mean I will not get an A course grade. Also, I've been recruited to
be a tutor for a classmate. Let's go.
Criminology
Due to a combination of professor, course material, and course format; this course
is cake for me. I was very surprised to learn of particular classmates who failed
the first test. There's not really much else to say about this course, because it's
the same old, same old that I've learned before. I'm not complaining.
Memory and Cognition
Um. Really, that's the extent of my thoughts in regards to this course. No offense,
but it really is a joke. For the first test, I filled out the study guide using only
the professor's PowerPoints and used none of my own notes. The only reason I need
to go to class is for participation activities and the rare graded participation
activities. Joke, joke, joke. And even more of a joke because the test averages were
bi-modal, meaning that most people got an A/B grade or a D/F grade. What.
Sociology of the Family
Awesome possum course. Very similar to Birth and Death in regards to format, so I
am excelling because of that. The readings are interesting and the discussions are
fulfilling. Apparently everyone is fascinated by the topic of cohabitation.
Counseling and Personal Development
I love this course so much that I am not even bothered by the fact that it is a
one-day, 2.5-hour night class. I love courses in this format, thanks to LBC and
HACC. I love this course so much that I am not even bothered by the in-class role-
playing. That's a big deal.
Jazz Band
So far, so good, but weird. First concert was a success and our director said,
"We've done easy music and we've done it well. Now it is time to do more difficult
music." Uh-oh.
Honors Project
So far, so good. I need to check on my project time line to see what I should be
doing now, since I am "officially" done with observation.
Piano
Probably the most neglected part of my education right now. But after I am done
here, I am going to eat lunch and go practice for a long time. Thankfully my teacher
understands my circumstances and allowed me to take care of legal issues during my
lesson time this past Monday. Also, I just learned that he thinks I'm awesome, as in,
one of the few students who works.
Library Work and Tutoring
Library work continues to be my favorite. It is the best way to get work done and
socialize and get paid, all at the same time. Tutoring has officially started this
week and I tutored for one hour over the course of two sessions. I need to email
someone so I can fill out the paperwork to become a Bio Psych tutor.
PDP and Convos
Additional things I can't forget to think about. My PDP paper is going to be
ridiculous.
That's all, I think. Ready and lunch time.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Work and Summer Productive Town
As some of you may know, I am a cashier/do-it-all at a local gas station and
convenience store. Sure, this sounds like a lowly job that wouldn't involve
much excitement or mental exertion. I'm good at my job; I love my job and my
job loves me, but sometimes it gets a little too crazy.
Take tonight, for example.
Approximately ten minutes after I clocked in, a customer was pumping gas. All
was well until he ran in and alerted me that the hose line broke and there was
an ever-increasing puddle of gas. Had he shut off the pump before he ran away
from the scene? Absolutely not. I quickly shut off the pump through my register
and followed him outside to investigate. He refused to pay for the extra $1.34
that he wasted because he failed to shut off his pump before fleeing to get me
and I later went outside to spread Spillaway between customers, since I was
working alone.
While I was outside, trying to clean up the wasted gas and keep an eye on the
store for entering customers, a woman pulled up to someone who was getting gas
and I heard her ask the other person a question. I continued to clean up and
to watch for incoming customers. The woman then pulled up to me and asked me
if I knew where such-and-such a location was. I asked her if she had an address
or a street name and her passenger looked on her laptop and told me the street
name. Meanwhile, I saw a girl enter the store from the side door. I told the
woman that I knew the road, but was not sure how to get there and needed to go
inside because I had a customer. I told her that she could come inside with me
and I would look at a map for her. She continued to ask me for directions and said
that they had been driving around for three hours. I repeated myself at least
twice and she finally said, "Okay, I know you're busy." I turned to go inside,
she pulled away, and I expected her to park and follow me inside so that I could
show her a map. As I waited on the customer who was inside, I saw the woman
drive away. Three hours of being lost and she couldn't spare five minutes?
Toward the end of my shift, this super creepy guy (late 50s, gross, native small
town material) came in to buy cigarettes and asked me if I had a boyfriend. I do
not, so I said no. He asked if I don't like boys. I should have said yes. I said
no and that I'm just single. He made a few comments, such as saying that's a
shame and so on. He then said, "Maybe I could take you out to dinner some night."
No sirree, no thank you. Gross.
My job is ridiculous.
Doing
As far as my summer do-list that I posted most recently...
I've been reading a lot. I finished Scott Westerfield's The Uglies Series, I read
The Handmaid's Tale (which was AWESOME), I read Green Angel, and I am reading
The Children of Men. I need to get Full Dark No Stars from the library.
I've joined bookmooch. I've given 10 books away and am slated to receive 5.
I LOVE IT.
I did not do my school portfolio. I put all of my work for the year in a box and
put all of my books for the year on my school shelf. Good enough.
For my t-shirt rag rug, I ordered a ready-to-go 24"x30" rug latch hook canvas
and have begun cutting t-shirts into 1"x4" strips. I need to find a latch hook
tool and buy more shirts.
I have not been writing.
I narrowed down my grad school search to the last three. Pitt, U at Albany (SUNY),
and East Tennessee State University. I will apply to these three schools and I
will be earning my MSW from whichever one is least expensive. Pitt and ETSU were
recommended by my advisor. Pitt has the 14th best MSW program in the nation and
U at Albany has the 12th best. ETSU is new, but sounds awesome.
Although I am fairly certain none of these grad schools require a GRE school for
admission, I will be taking the GRE on August 1. Unless I could cancel and get a
refund? I'll have to look into that.
People have been seen and are being seen. <3
One thing that was not posted on my do-list was to play French Horn. I got a
lesson book and played for the first time a few days ago. I suck at it.
convenience store. Sure, this sounds like a lowly job that wouldn't involve
much excitement or mental exertion. I'm good at my job; I love my job and my
job loves me, but sometimes it gets a little too crazy.
Take tonight, for example.
Approximately ten minutes after I clocked in, a customer was pumping gas. All
was well until he ran in and alerted me that the hose line broke and there was
an ever-increasing puddle of gas. Had he shut off the pump before he ran away
from the scene? Absolutely not. I quickly shut off the pump through my register
and followed him outside to investigate. He refused to pay for the extra $1.34
that he wasted because he failed to shut off his pump before fleeing to get me
and I later went outside to spread Spillaway between customers, since I was
working alone.
While I was outside, trying to clean up the wasted gas and keep an eye on the
store for entering customers, a woman pulled up to someone who was getting gas
and I heard her ask the other person a question. I continued to clean up and
to watch for incoming customers. The woman then pulled up to me and asked me
if I knew where such-and-such a location was. I asked her if she had an address
or a street name and her passenger looked on her laptop and told me the street
name. Meanwhile, I saw a girl enter the store from the side door. I told the
woman that I knew the road, but was not sure how to get there and needed to go
inside because I had a customer. I told her that she could come inside with me
and I would look at a map for her. She continued to ask me for directions and said
that they had been driving around for three hours. I repeated myself at least
twice and she finally said, "Okay, I know you're busy." I turned to go inside,
she pulled away, and I expected her to park and follow me inside so that I could
show her a map. As I waited on the customer who was inside, I saw the woman
drive away. Three hours of being lost and she couldn't spare five minutes?
Toward the end of my shift, this super creepy guy (late 50s, gross, native small
town material) came in to buy cigarettes and asked me if I had a boyfriend. I do
not, so I said no. He asked if I don't like boys. I should have said yes. I said
no and that I'm just single. He made a few comments, such as saying that's a
shame and so on. He then said, "Maybe I could take you out to dinner some night."
No sirree, no thank you. Gross.
My job is ridiculous.
Doing
As far as my summer do-list that I posted most recently...
I've been reading a lot. I finished Scott Westerfield's The Uglies Series, I read
The Handmaid's Tale (which was AWESOME), I read Green Angel, and I am reading
The Children of Men. I need to get Full Dark No Stars from the library.
I've joined bookmooch. I've given 10 books away and am slated to receive 5.
I LOVE IT.
I did not do my school portfolio. I put all of my work for the year in a box and
put all of my books for the year on my school shelf. Good enough.
For my t-shirt rag rug, I ordered a ready-to-go 24"x30" rug latch hook canvas
and have begun cutting t-shirts into 1"x4" strips. I need to find a latch hook
tool and buy more shirts.
I have not been writing.
I narrowed down my grad school search to the last three. Pitt, U at Albany (SUNY),
and East Tennessee State University. I will apply to these three schools and I
will be earning my MSW from whichever one is least expensive. Pitt and ETSU were
recommended by my advisor. Pitt has the 14th best MSW program in the nation and
U at Albany has the 12th best. ETSU is new, but sounds awesome.
Although I am fairly certain none of these grad schools require a GRE school for
admission, I will be taking the GRE on August 1. Unless I could cancel and get a
refund? I'll have to look into that.
People have been seen and are being seen. <3
One thing that was not posted on my do-list was to play French Horn. I got a
lesson book and played for the first time a few days ago. I suck at it.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
How to Read Critically (and My Summer Do-List)
How to Read Critically
(The following was drawn from notes on a lecture by one of my professors, during
one of the class meetings of Juvenile Justice. So, in case you've been struggling
to read research articles and respond to them in a critical fashion, see below.
I took Juvenile Justice Fall 2010. Sorry for the delay.)
In order to read critically, you must do two things:
1) Read for fact: an understanding of theories and their evidence
and
2) Read for implication: now what?
Typically, a research article is designed in the following way:
1) ASK: presents the problem and its background
2) CRITIQUE: critiques the previous theories surrounding the problem
3) TELL: presents a new theory about the problem
4) SHOW: ties in evidence to support the new theory
5) IMAGINE: imagines the "now what?" and explains implications for the future
In reading critically and finding the format of the research article as you read,
there are a few key things to remember to look for:
- A shift in words signifies the article's claims (however, but, therefore, given,
thus, etc). Take note of such claims and the supporting evidence that surrounds them.
- Notice previous claims or theories you recognize and evaluate the connections that
are made by the article.
- Concrete words signify confident statements or claims (given, thus, therefore, etc;
NOT possibly, may, tend, etc).
- Take note of section headings and find thesis statements and key words for each
section.
- As you read, develop one-sentence summaries of main points that are presented (or
mark one-sentence summaries that are already written within the article).
- Pay extra attention to the first and last paragraphs of sections, as the paragraphs
that lie between are primarily supporting information.
- Nearing the end of the article, look for words that alert you of the summary (in
short, in summary, in conclusion, etc).
My Summer Do-List
I've been in the midst of unpacking, repacking, cleaning, and organizing since I got
home from school on May 15, left again on May 18, and came home again on May 22.
Since May 22, I've mostly been sleeping, as well as working, and completing the verbs
previously listed. In addition, I wrote up a list to keep myself on task. The list is
currently incomplete, as I know some things slipped my mind, but it's a good start.
To be operationalized (and S.M.A.R.T.), goals must be written down.
(in no particular order, much to the chagrin of my OCD tendencies...)
- read. a lot. The Uglies Series(x3), This is Your Brain on Music, Full Dark No Stars, etc.
- bookmooch. get rid of those books in the corner.
- school portfolio.
- t-shirt rag rug.
- write. Metamorphosis. Teacher. Semester reflect blog. Journal.
- pick a grad school.
- GRE on Aug 1.
- people.
And, for immediate action, sleep.
(The following was drawn from notes on a lecture by one of my professors, during
one of the class meetings of Juvenile Justice. So, in case you've been struggling
to read research articles and respond to them in a critical fashion, see below.
I took Juvenile Justice Fall 2010. Sorry for the delay.)
In order to read critically, you must do two things:
1) Read for fact: an understanding of theories and their evidence
and
2) Read for implication: now what?
Typically, a research article is designed in the following way:
1) ASK: presents the problem and its background
2) CRITIQUE: critiques the previous theories surrounding the problem
3) TELL: presents a new theory about the problem
4) SHOW: ties in evidence to support the new theory
5) IMAGINE: imagines the "now what?" and explains implications for the future
In reading critically and finding the format of the research article as you read,
there are a few key things to remember to look for:
- A shift in words signifies the article's claims (however, but, therefore, given,
thus, etc). Take note of such claims and the supporting evidence that surrounds them.
- Notice previous claims or theories you recognize and evaluate the connections that
are made by the article.
- Concrete words signify confident statements or claims (given, thus, therefore, etc;
NOT possibly, may, tend, etc).
- Take note of section headings and find thesis statements and key words for each
section.
- As you read, develop one-sentence summaries of main points that are presented (or
mark one-sentence summaries that are already written within the article).
- Pay extra attention to the first and last paragraphs of sections, as the paragraphs
that lie between are primarily supporting information.
- Nearing the end of the article, look for words that alert you of the summary (in
short, in summary, in conclusion, etc).
My Summer Do-List
I've been in the midst of unpacking, repacking, cleaning, and organizing since I got
home from school on May 15, left again on May 18, and came home again on May 22.
Since May 22, I've mostly been sleeping, as well as working, and completing the verbs
previously listed. In addition, I wrote up a list to keep myself on task. The list is
currently incomplete, as I know some things slipped my mind, but it's a good start.
To be operationalized (and S.M.A.R.T.), goals must be written down.
(in no particular order, much to the chagrin of my OCD tendencies...)
- read. a lot. The Uglies Series(x3), This is Your Brain on Music, Full Dark No Stars, etc.
- bookmooch. get rid of those books in the corner.
- school portfolio.
- t-shirt rag rug.
- write. Metamorphosis. Teacher. Semester reflect blog. Journal.
- pick a grad school.
- GRE on Aug 1.
- people.
And, for immediate action, sleep.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
