Friday, February 19, 2010

Lots to Say. :/

First of all, I really need to write in my journal. Some things about college
seem to be different this semester. So, that is what I plan to do this weekend,
in addition to laundry and editing my allotted sections of the IRB application
for Qual. Huzzah for not too much homework! Last weekend was ridiculous.

Basketball game tonight! And tomorrow! :D Yaaaaay, pep band!

I will discuss superficiality later. There are other things to say.

On Monday, in Psychology of Personality class, we talked about love. Dr. Young
desperately tried to put love in a box. Specifically, we discussed how people
always say "My significant other completes me." What exactly does this entail?

Were you not a whole person before being significant with this significant other?

I propose that people use the word "complete" quite loosely. More loosely than
I am comfortable with. (Whoa, awkward sentence...there's really no good way to
say that.)

To complete SHOULD mean that the thing completed was previously incomplete. Not whole.

However, that is not how people function. "Complete" is almost irrelevant in terms
of talking about people, personality, relationships, etc.


Human completeness is somewhat negated in the Bible. You know, where it talks
about how we will be filled and overflowing, never full? Yeah. Completeness doesn't
really matter, then? Perhaps. I think so, probably.

So, completeness isn't even important.

I feel like this is entirely incoherent. My apologies.

In my observation, I have seen what people mean when they talk about a relationship
completing them. But, to me, this is not completion. Completion is too harsh of a
word. Instead, what is really happening is betterment.

Not completion, betterment. The betterment of an individual by seeing how he or she
is reflected by the significant other. Yup.

We also discussed the theory of "opposites attract," but that studies show that
people tend to be attracted to people who are similar in interests, beliefs, and
values. However, perhaps opposites of personality attract because the two people
balance each other out.

First of all, obviously you're going to tend toward people with similar interests,
beliefs, and values. You're certainly not going to tend toward the probability of
frequent conflict.

Secondly, my opinions of opposite personalities are not concrete enough and far too
complicated to even try to explain. Bottom line, though... balance.

So, in other news! Empowerment!

Empowerment is my new favorite life value, following selfless compassion and
balance&moderation. Empowerment is the core value of the ideal system of social
welfare and the ideal profession of social work.

Empowerment protects counselors from becoming enablers, protects the counseled
from becoming dependent. No handouts, no undeserved charity. Mutual effort in
working to learn how to access resources and make changes to improve situations
and environments and, consequently, satisfaction/happiness.

(On a side note, there's a part of me that doesn't think happiness is so important.
But that's something I need to write about in my journal. lol. Now that you're all

Empowerment, empowerment, empowerment.

There is a second side to the concept of empowerment. The counselor will feel he
or she is not being listened to and is largely unimportant and useless is the
counseled does not reflect being empowered.

While it is the responsibility of the counselor to first empower the counseled, the
counseled have the responsibility to respond.

Responsibility. Respond. Yay, words!

Essentially, if (after the counseled has had time to be empowered by the counselor)
the counselor feels that the counseled has not responded and is not making the
effort to make changes for improvement, the counselor will be discouraged and
therefore less inclined to counsel the counseled.

I don't want to hear your complaining if you're not taking any action to make it better.

This ties back into the concept of not being allowed to complain. Complaining is
only truly justified when the catalyst of unhappiness is beyond one's control.
Otherwise, if you're not happy, CHANGE IT. Or instigate the necessary strategies
in order to change it. If it IS genuinely beyond your control, you can vent, I
understand venting is often necessary for emotional release, but get over it.

I will not let you wallow.

You must understand that complaining and venting are very much different. Venting
is a kind of complaining that is more acceptable because it is done with the
attitude of, "I need to vent so I feel better, so this distress is no longer
bottled inside of me." Venting is further acceptable because it is combined with
efforts to change whatever needs to be changed in order to remove the source of

Whew. That was a lot of words.

But see? I vented. I feel better. The distress is no longer bottle up inside of me.
Will I take action in order to change the source of distress? Perhaps, maybe, if
the issue arises again. Otherwise, probably not.

You can't change others.

You can't change others.

You can only help them see, help them realize.

You can't change others.


That is all for now. It is nice outside. I am going to drive to Wal-Mart, with my
windows down and music up. Time for some me time. I'm going to take my time. No, I'm
going to drive fast and maybe drive further than I need to drive. Out.

No comments: