Boys and Coldplay (Apr 6, 2009)

(posted to Facebook, April 6, 2009)






title = lolz






On Saturday night, I figured out the problem. There are many different facets to a healthy relationship. Problem is, I've only experienced them individually. I've only experienced them one at a time.

There's chemistry.
When you're together, the air between you is alive.
I've since forgotten the feeling, but I know it's incredible.
It isn't based on attraction or connection. It's just there.

There's plain old attraction.
It's wanting to be close to someone and, when you're
close, wanting to be closer.

There's the one you connect with.
You may not have a lot in common and you may not
even be that attracted, but there's something.

There's the one that reflects your personality.
You're basically the same person. When it comes to
values, beliefs, and disposition, it's hard to tell you
apart.

There's the one you get along with.
You've always been friends, you've grown up
together, and you share everything.

There's the one you respect, admire, and look up to.
They have shown you who you are, who you could
be, and who you will become. They know what you
are capable of.

There's the one you want to follow.
You kind of want to be them.

Question is, is there such a thing as a relationship that is capable of all these things? Does such a person exist? Should they?





What I want to know is this: why do I feel guilty for wanting this?





Right now, I'm disappointed. Much moreso than I expected to be. That is the largest problem. I am most bothered by how bothered I am.





Today, Coldplay's White Shadows became my theme song...

When I was a young boy I tried to listen
And I wanna feel like that
Little white shadows, blink and miss them
Part of a system I am

If you ever feel like something's missing?
Things you'll never understand
Little white shadows, sparkle and glisten
Part of a system plan

All this noise, I'm waking up
All the space I'm taking up
All this sound is breaking up

Ohhhh...

Maybe you get what you wanted
Maybe you stumbled upon it
Everything you ever wanted
In a permanent state

Maybe you'll know when you see it
Maybe if you say it, you'll mean it
And when you find it, you keep it
In a permanent state
A permanent state

When I was a young boy
I tried to listen
Don't you wanna feel like that?

We're part of the human race and
All of the stars and the outer space
We're part of the system plan

All this noise, I'm waking up
And all the space, I'm taking up
I said I cannot hear you, you're breaking up

Ohhhh...

Maybe you get what you wanted
Maybe you stumbled upon it
Everything you ever wanted
In a permanent state

Maybe you'll know when you see it
Maybe if you say it, you'll mean it
And when you find it, you keep it
In a permanent state
A permanent state

Swim out on a sea of faces,
The tide of the human races,
An answer now is what I need.

See it in a new sun rising
See it break on your horizon
Oh, come on love, stay with me...





((if I were Chris Martin, I would have written "Swim out on a sea of faces, Tired of the human races..."))