(posted to Facebook, February 24, 2009)
I don't think that I've ever experienced denial. Well, maybe
once, but it didn't come first.
I also think that the stages come in different orders depending
on the degree of devastating-ness of the event.
The theory of the Five Stages of Grief was developed with
the focus of being diagnosed with a terminal illness. Today,
it is applied to breakups, deaths, layoffs, trauma, and so on.
Although these situations may feel as devastating as a terminal
illness, objectively, they are not.
It is my theory that for situations slightly less devastating than
terminal illness (such as a breakup or a loss of friendship (perhaps
a layoff)), that one's response will be immediate depression...
I think this is because such things are so terribly important, but
not so life threatening that they have to be temporarily ignored.
Also, anger becomes the primary response when one feels that
the circumstance is something that could have been controlled
or avoided. ...not so much anger, but regret.
I don't think I've ever bargained for anything.
I tend to experience an extra stage, one of laughter and
nonchalant-ness. Perhaps this is my denial.
Nonchalant, Laughing Denial
Where am I? Somewhere between anger and acceptance.
Mostly anger, I think.
So, if I do, I'm not trying to sound mean.