Confusion? (Dec 28, 2007)

Confusion?

(posted to Facebook, December 28, 2007)







Did you ever find an old friend again? After not having
even thought of them for some four-odd years? Should
I not be happy? I should be grateful we've found our
way to each other again. I may very well be, but I am
overwhelmingly sad. I don't know why, but the thought
of him lays heavy upon my heart.
Maybe it's because I regret losing him. Maybe I think
that if we had stayed, things could have been different.
I see the way he acts now, he's changed. Maybe if I
been there, this wouldn't have happened. Unlikely.
I didn't even hardly think of him all these years, aside
from short reminiscent thoughts shared with a mutual
friend. I didn't even miss him. So why do I miss him
now? Why would I miss him now, when we have the
potential to rebuild our friendship?
Maybe it's because I didn't miss him for four years,
and now that I realize he still exists, the four years worth
of lonliness have been released. This is terrible.

>.< Ugh.

I also think that what I'm feeling may be compassion
and concern. I certainly hope it's not love.

That couldn't be possible, could it? Can you love someone
you never loved before? I haven't seen him in years...





On another note, I think ___ ___________ needs therapy.
Actually, I'm starting to think that everyone could benefit
from a little therapy. Or at least basic psych courses...





Tonight was so awesome, I could cry. Haha. Really. ::grin::
I'm half-tempted to follow Zac (who's following Haley) to
Chicago to pursue music. However, Illinois sounds disgusting.
And the only thing I could do would be frontman for a band
who would write music for me. Not fair. Although, Roger
Daltry sure made it work.

Ehh, I'll be a writer.