Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Confusion? (Dec 28, 2007)


(posted to Facebook, December 28, 2007)

Did you ever find an old friend again? After not having
even thought of them for some four-odd years? Should
I not be happy? I should be grateful we've found our
way to each other again. I may very well be, but I am
overwhelmingly sad. I don't know why, but the thought
of him lays heavy upon my heart.
Maybe it's because I regret losing him. Maybe I think
that if we had stayed, things could have been different.
I see the way he acts now, he's changed. Maybe if I
been there, this wouldn't have happened. Unlikely.
I didn't even hardly think of him all these years, aside
from short reminiscent thoughts shared with a mutual
friend. I didn't even miss him. So why do I miss him
now? Why would I miss him now, when we have the
potential to rebuild our friendship?
Maybe it's because I didn't miss him for four years,
and now that I realize he still exists, the four years worth
of lonliness have been released. This is terrible.

>.< Ugh.

I also think that what I'm feeling may be compassion
and concern. I certainly hope it's not love.

That couldn't be possible, could it? Can you love someone
you never loved before? I haven't seen him in years...

On another note, I think ___ ___________ needs therapy.
Actually, I'm starting to think that everyone could benefit
from a little therapy. Or at least basic psych courses...

Tonight was so awesome, I could cry. Haha. Really. ::grin::
I'm half-tempted to follow Zac (who's following Haley) to
Chicago to pursue music. However, Illinois sounds disgusting.
And the only thing I could do would be frontman for a band
who would write music for me. Not fair. Although, Roger
Daltry sure made it work.

Ehh, I'll be a writer.

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